There’s nothing more beautiful or romantic than a nice Valentine’s Day morning. Earlier today I walked outside into the fresh, crisp air, said hello to my neighbor, took a nice walk down the block as birds chirped around me, and turned the corner to see two women engaged in a fist fight.

“You don’t leave my house! You don’t!”

Slaps and hair pulling and shrieking.

Of course, every guy in the immediate vicinity was watching, but no one seemed to be too interested in breaking it up, except for one guy, who kept saying “Ladies! Ladies!” but it was more like “Ladies… ladies…” as he alternately stepped towards and away from them, unsure if he should attempt to stop this incredible moment.

And then there’s the always-hysterical line at the Flower Shop every single Valentine’s Day, where every guy in the neighborhood tries to look tough and fails miserably, as he’s holding a fruity red teddy bear display and 50 long stem roses.

Me? I’m leaving my new fiancee to go play video games in California for the weekend. She’s cool with it, and if that ain’t a sign of love then I don’t know what is.

Ain’t it grand?