After a long stretch, I finally believe in Chris Carter again. It doesn’t even matter if the new X-Files movie is any good. First, he got the thing made, period. You know what the over/under on that happening was? Either never or infinity; I’m not very good at reading those sheets. Furthermore, he did so without every goddamn detail of Billy Connolly’s snowy werewolf bar mitzvah plot spilling onto every website in the industry. (Everyone knows there are no werewolves in this movie.)

And now THR claims that Carter doesn’t just have Fencewalker, his follow-up, set to go sometime in the near future, but has already been filming it in secret. The trade can’t confirm this with Carter’s reps or those of the actors, but says the thing is a ‘dark drama’ and ‘essentially a
coming-of-age semi-autobiographical character piece with no
supernatural elements’ but ‘not quite a Proustian descent into what happened between episodes 2.23 and 3.1 of Milennium‘, which is a lot of conjecture for something that doesn’t officially exist. But deniability is Carter’s stock in trade, so don’t believe me when I say that the film will star Xzibit (you didn’t want to believe that anyway) as well as Natalie Dormer, Katie Cassidy, Derek Magyar and Meckah
Brooks. Stop reading the interwebs and watch the television so I don’t have to explain who those people are, OK? Then come back and tell me, because I don’t know either.