You know what is really starting to annoy me? Having to see the trailer for the movie push before EVERY movie I go to.

Now, here’s the thing. I fully understand that the price of getting to the theatre early enough to get the seat I want is having to sit through the pre-show ‘entertainment’*. But this trailer for yet another X-Men rip off just has to stop. Does anyone really think this looks good?

I thought not.

First jumper and now push, anyone else see a comparison? They cast good ol’ Sam ‘I’m-in-every-muthafuckin’-movie-made-these-days’ Jackson in one and then apparently tried to cast him in the other and failed, because I’m sorry, but does anyone actually think that Djimon Hounsou was the filmmakers’ first choice after seeing the way they made him look almost exactly like Jackson in his ‘secret super agent’ look?

So, first thing I want to know then is why do all these faux X-Men movies have to have the Sam Jackson guy?

Is it because of the hype around Jackson as Nick Fury? Or perhaps it is because of the hype around Jackson maybe not playing Nick Fury? My first intuition was perhaps both of these flicks had come from Fox but that is not the case. Jumper did but push is from red hot Summit Ent. You know, those cheery folks who brought us twilight (thanks pal). Hard to believe the same company released Terry Gilliam’s FEAR AND LOATHING IN LAS VEGAS or Guy Ritchie’s LOCK STOCK AND TWO SMOKING BARRELS back in ’98. Don’t get me wrong – good for them and the success they are having, especially if it means they will return to releasing good, edgy stuff as opposed to just succumbing to the big studio formula of crap Crap CRAP! Seeing this sluice of digital urine that’s coming down the pipes lately (if the other two weren’t enough how about step up 2: the streets and the hottie and the nottie?) – Ugh!

So as long as we’re asking questions that will never be answered unless someone takes a couple studio exec’s into a room with a few pairs of handcuffs and a blow torch, why the faux X-Men movies**? With Fox I figure it’s a big middle finger to Marvel, who now have their own in-house production studio and will hopefully never need to sell any more rights to their characters ever again. With Summit, how about investing in some original ideas? I guess the comic book superhero/mutant thing is hot and everyone wants in. And again, hopefully Marvel never outsources again. Why would they after their first time out with Iron Man is so freakin’ incredible? And while they hopefully continue down this path of excellence to the Avengers movie one can only imagine they may just be biding their time, waiting for their contracts with Fox to run out until eventually, I would imagine, they can bring their own versions of X-Continuity into the Marvel Movie-verse they appear to currently be working so hard to craft (and thus far really crafting well I might add).

This of course comes at a time when Fox would most likely kill to get in on Marvel’s good thing, so perhaps in revenge they feel they can pretty much just steal the concepts and plug in their own characters and scenarios (perhaps they should bring Rob Liefeld, Todd McFarlane and most of the other ‘creators’ of the original Image universe along to help). And sure, to younger generations the fact that all of this is re-hashed comic book continuity will go right over their heads. It’s like some douche bag high schooler said to me not too long ago, ‘everybody knows punk died when green day sold out’.

Ahh, yeah.

Never did have much of an occasion to speak to that person again, same as I’ll never have an occasion to see push. I’d rather read the Dark Phoenix saga or old Walt and Louise Simonson era X-Factor.


* Yeah, call it ‘entertainment’ if your idea of being entertained is listening to tracks by teenage pop stars followed by speculum-aided ‘inside looks’ into new tv shows and failed rock star reality shows. Oh, and then there’s those god awful ‘citizen soldier’ music videos. Really, I hated 3 doors down when they released that single the year I had nothing but an FM radio in my car and frankly, if I could hunt them down now, well, let’s just say I wouldn’t mind borrowing one of those bayonettes from the video. And kid rock, really? Didn’t someone unmask him last year revealing he’s really tommy lee’s ‘modern’ alter ego?

** Yes I recognize that this is a stupid question. As if I thought that original ideas held any water at all anymore in H-town