Clive Barker has had many revelations throughout his career. The author has also developed a loyal army of fans that no Internet writer should ever fuck with. I know that we all want to hold on to some small bit of journalistic integrity but take my advice– just agree.

Now Barker has had his most important revelation yet and that makes Clive Barker’s Revelations that much more im– oh shit, I forgot. You have to whisper the revelations part.

So Barker updated Clive Barker’s *whisper* Revelations on his official site to address, or endorse, the efforts by his fans to, well, just what exactly are they doing to get The Midnight Meat Train to open on more than the rumored 100 screens? If this is another fucking e-petition I will end this article right now!


The real person you don’t want to mess with is Will motherfuckin’ Tippin

Sorry, Mister Barker, you were revelating?

“I am very excited about this possibility and I would passionately encourage everybody who cares about my work to use this chance to change the minds of the folks at Lionsgate.

“This is exciting! I really think, this late in the day, that grassroots support for our movie could significantly improve our chances of reaching a much bigger audience theatrically. The picture is worth the effort, I believe.”

Hmm, well, I didn’t see anything about an e-petition. Apparently, Barker is urging fans to utilize the IMDB message boards to e-mail Lionsgate and give them a stern talking-to. I just hope they don’t give them a Daniel Stern talking-to because the last thing we need is that guy starring in another non-C.H.U.D related horror film.