I’ve tried to stay positive. Or at least fair. But now that the trailer for Paul W.S. Anderson’s remake of Death Race 2000 is here, all I’ve got is this:

Fuck this movie. Why not Carmageddon? Or Blood Fender? Why bend Paul Bartel over the back of a piano? Just because he was a bear doesn’t mean he liked it like that.

(And couldn’t they have just saved me the trouble of even seeing it by using the trailer to explicitly tell me that Joan Allen had Jason Statham wrongfully convicted so he could drive for her?)

Go torture yourself at Yahoo, in various definitions.