Last year, Palme d’Or winner Roland Joffé took a blowtorch to his career with Captivity; this year, he’s seeking your forgiveness with the conscience-rattling tale of two teenage lesbians who fall in love at a t.A.T.u. concert, and, later, participate in a three-way with Anton Yelchin. The film is called You and I, and the only way this this gets more sordid is if Joffé dedicates the film to Dith Pran. Here’s your non-exclusive look:



Some outlets are predicting that You and I has the potential to be a cult classic in the vein of Showgirls, but I’m getting more of an unwatchable-in-every-sense, Spice World vibe from this garbage (although the rotating bed bit is a nice homage to Body Double; “How ’bout Pavel Chekov, straight up!”). The MPAA rating will determine everything: an R guarantees my drunken presence in the theater; a PG-13 means this fucker’s out of theaters faster than you can say Glitter.

Since t.A.T.u. never made much on an impact here in America, I’m guessing You and I was produced almost exclusively for the international market. This would also explain the casting of Mischa Barton, whose exodus from The O.C. has inexplicably propelled her to European superstardom (and tasteful toplessness courtesy of Sir Richard Attenborough!). There doesn’t appear to be a U.S. release date just yet, but I can almost guarantee you’ll have the opportunity to skip this over Labor Day weekend.