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STUDIO: Allumination Film works / American World Pictures
RUNNING TIME: 95 min
- Theatrical Trailer
- Behind the Scenes featurettes
- Audio Commentary
Nick Nunziata (FOUNDER OF CHUD.COM) is one of the co-producers of the feature film “Grizzly Park”. In the interest of disclosure and settling the minds of the little Jimmy Breslins of the world, this disclaimer has been re-added to the following review. Hopefully, these few words can ease your mind. If not, feel free to mail a copy of “Basic Journalism 101″. I’m always in the market for bathroom reading.
The Grizzly attacks campers, while Ranger Bob rocks harder than Smokey.
Ranger Smith never knew that Yogi received SOCOM training. The last thing he saw was a camoflaged bear swiping a picnic basket.
Glenn Morshower, Randy Wayne, Julie Skon, Emily Foxler, Kavan Reece, Jelynn Rodriguez, Trevor Peterson, Zulay Henad and Brody the Bear
Rance Howard likes to grab his sack every hour on the hour. If he removes his hand, the world shalt be dealt a man-beast that the locals will call Were-Opie.
Grizzly Park is a nice throwback to those 70s nature attack films. This time we get to take a trip to a nice little park that plays host to some troubled teenagers. These punk kids are there to do some community service. I thought they got off light, but there’s a catch. Supposedly, there hasn’t been a bear in the park since the 1920s. But, there’s a big mother fucking grizzly that’s going to go all Semi-Pro on a half-stoned teenager.
This film works as a cautionary tale. There are large things in the wilderness that will eat you and then you shit you into unidentifiable pieces. When the kids arrive at the Grizzly Park for their community service tour of duty, we know what’s going to happen. But, there’s the matter of a serial killer posing as one of the cops on the security detail. There’s the strange wildlife that includes wolves and other things lurking in the woods. All the while, we’re left with Ranger Bob to take us by the hand and guide us safely to the other side.
Uwe Boll presents: Rudyard Kipling’s The Jungle Book.
The campers drag down the film for a bit, as we seem to crawl through their background explanations. I don’t care if they molested school children while suckling at Satan’s beefy cock, I want hot bear action. That right there is probably the queerest sentence I will ever write at CHUD, so the trolls can bookmark that. Rance Howard popped up for a bed to remind us that he made Clint Howard. Then, there’s the stoic beauty that is Ranger Bob.
Ranger Bob is the best character in the film and he works as a vessel for the audience. He fucking hates these kids, but he doesn’t have the freedom to maul them. You’ll spend an hour of the film waiting for this guy to lose it. But, he maintains Zen levels of patience as he puts up with stories from the white supremacist kid that doesn’t even crack that many racist jokes. What’s the point of covering your body with White Power tattoos if it doesn’t free you up to make jokes in mixed company? Hell, he didn’t even put on his boots and curb stomp the Asian chick.
The real reason why Chik-Fil-A has to close on Sundays.
I had huge issues with the film’s opening and it bled through to about the point that they got rid of the serial killer. Then, there’s the shocker ending. Some of the paperwork I’ve read wants to turn the moment into this huge Marion Crane shower head fuck stab moment, but it doesn’t quite do the trick. What it does do is give us some nice gore moments with plenty of bloody fuck gore. Kudos to the makeup FX team on some of the kills.
Grizzly Park isn’t perfect by a long shot, but it gets the nature of the creature feature. Gory kills, loose teens and an adult that has to put up with more shit than a proctologist. If the pacing problems in the opening could’ve been fixed, you would’ve had a real genre hit on your hands. But, it was a goal that reminds just out of touch. If you don’t care and just want to have a decent gore flick, then this is up your alley.
I don’t know why, but I’m strangely aroused by this.
Grizzly Park comes to Home Video looking amazing for a smaller film. I deal with about 20-24 home video titles per week. I cover them all to a fine detail and I have to say that this is one of the best transfers I’ve seen for this month. There’s barely in edge enhancement or haze onscreen, plus the audio is crystal. No dialogue was dropped and the rather brisk attack sequences sounded like a major release.
The special features are saved by the featurettes that delve into the making of the film. Everyone remotely involved in the film is brought in to offer their two cents. Some bits are informative, while others feel like they were waiting for a call to set. The commentary didn’t do much for me, as they didn’t address many of the problems. I didn’t expect them to tackle the pacing issues, as commentaries are mainly used to focus on the positives. But, I could’ve used a better explanation for the inclusion of the serial killer character.
Allumination Filmworks and American World Picture Pictures have pulled out quite a release with Grizzly Park. There are issues with the film and the DVD doesn’t do a lot to address them. But, what you have is fun. A certain minority has forgotten that things such as fun and entertainment still have a place within the cinema. This film is the reminder that perfect imperfection can be found at your local video store.
Yeah, after the success of this flick, we got the greenlight all the way until 2012. That’s when we do the Grizzly Avengers. It’s going to be nothing but 2 hours of bare-chested Alex Karras and George Wendt fucking. America needs this now more than ever.