The first official cast photo from Twilight has finally been released!

Don’t give me that look. If you pay attention to certain corners of the internet, that’s the biggest thing to happen in movies this week. Not Iron Man. Not Errol Morris’ movie heading to a couple more screens. Not Chiwetel Ejiofor quietly owning Redbelt. This bunch of kids is THE SHIT.

Cinematical has the photo, and they’ve been doggedly covering the movie for months now. (As has MTV, which has gone so far as to set up special coverage for ‘Twilight Tuesdays’.) Articles abound, covering the mothers who sneak onto set to grab photos of the cast and the speculation that the film’s teaser trailer might be able to elevate the otherwise rather sluggishly tracking Speed Racer next week.

I don’t get it. Sure, the backstory is interesting: Stephanie Meyer, Mormon mother of three, has a dream about a girl who falls for a vampire then pounds out a novel expanding upon the dream over three months. Novel sells millions and spawns sequels. Sales and subsequent fan devotion — including fanfic and cosplaying — rival those of Harry Potter.

The film adapts the first book, which follows Isabella ‘Bella’ Swan (Kristen Stewart) as she moves from Phoenix to Forks, Washington to live with her father while mom travels with her new minor league ballplayer husband. Boys dig Bella, but she ends up with Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson), who saves her from a severe accident. Edward is a ‘vegetarian’ vampire, who only drinks animal blood, but Bella’s ‘alluring scent’ attracts him and makes him want to eat her all up.

Haven’t Mormon vampires learned anything from Anne Rice? Haven’t any of us?

I’m more intrigued by the fact that Catherine Hardwicke is directing the film; she’s made a misstep or two, but I want to see her succeed, and it’ll take a massive trainwreck to make Twilight anything less than a hit when it opens in December.

For more interesting teen vampire news, check out the Swedish flick Let The Right One In, which just won the top prize at Tribeca. It can expect about one-thousandth the attention Twilight will get. If that.