6a00d8341bf7f753ef00e553c2545b8833-800wiDwayne Johnson Jr. is one of the most charismatic men I’ve ever met. He keeps growing as an actor and keeps growing as a veiny specimen of pumped humanity. He’s had a great year creatively (Snitch, Pain & Gain) and financially (GI Joe: Retaliation, Fast Six) this year and he’s parlaying that into… a disaster flick.

I can’t speak for you but I’ll speak for me. Fuck disaster flicks.

We can waste the likes of Roland Emmerich on disaster flicks and we can withstand the countless DTV disaster nightmares built for the John Schneiders and Lou Diamond Phillipses of the world but as far as big budgets and tentpole slots are concerned we’ve not only burned that bridge; we’ve had an asteroid and a tidal wave smash the bridge into bridgereens.

San Andreas is New Line’s next big movie and they want the former Rock to be the centerpiece. A massive earthquake happens and the eyebrow raising giant must fight all odds to get to his estranged daughter. NO WAY.

That is a plot straight out of Dickens.The film is written by monkeys with typewriters (or guys who worked on The Conjuring) and is to be directed by the guy who directed the sequel to the remake of the adaptation of the reimagination of Journey to the Center of the Earth.

Get ready for 3-D sadness.