[Note: I took the picture down because it’s apparently stolen. Paramount is pissed, and they should be. They should also be pissed because the costumes are asshole.]

It’s going to be very hard for me to defend Stephen Sommers after G.I. Joe hits screens I fear. Even though 2004 isn’t all that long ago, the sting of Van Helsing still permeates and though I still harbor much love for certain moments from my Joe-centric childhood, these pictures that are starting to surface [the latest batch from What Would Tyler Durden Do?] make my balls take a more teardrop shape if but for a moment.

To the right we used to see Dennis Quaid holding his breath and waiting for the last picture to be snapped so he can go home and watch Far From Heaven and remember fonder times. When you click the link above you’ll see a whole assortment of people who aren’t right for their roles in similar contortions. Enjoy!

By the way, Russ Fischer added this comment in regards to the pictures:

I’d love to see a mention that cover girl’s duds actually
have ‘gi joe’ stamped on them. like pajamas.

Consider my work here done.