Dante’s Inferno. At The New Bev. I should be going Friday, Sunday, and Tuesday. Tuesday: Movie Orgy. It’s fucking free. Joe Dante will be there. With John Landis, Quentin Tarantino, Edgar Wright, Clu Gulagher and others just showing up, it’s been the highlight of being in Los Angeles for the last couple. Join me, won’t you?
FORBIDDEN VS. FORGETTING
April is a dead month. No if’s, and’s or but’s (which I can not lie, you other brothers can’t deny). Apatow took whatever hit he was going to take with Walk Hard, which will likely find its audience via home video (and to which he gave Chud a shout out, what what?) With Forgetting Sarah Marshall (enjoy the videos, bitches) Universal called their shot by moving it from June to April. They weren’t going to go with a full court press and everyone involved has their next movie lined up, so a two-base hit will be good enough. Hell, getting on base will be good enough. These films are cheap, and Walk Hard is likely the most expensive of the Apatow set, simply because it had period details and lots of costumes and wigs and such.
The Forbidden Kingdom has Jet Li and Jackie Chan. Though America has squandered both’s domestic potential, Americans still like watching Asians kicking each other. Who will win? Who cares? The box will be close but I give the romantic comedy the edge, simply cbecause of the off-season. It’s a crying shame that two martial arts masters past their primes are duking it out now, but there’s still an audience for both. I am one of them, though first-prio has to be the Apatow joint.
There’s also Al Pacino in a film that’s sat around for a while and is in real time. Have we all forgot the lessons of Nick of Time? Nothing that sits around can do much more than have an off season hit, but this ain’t it. This ain’t it.
We’re only two weeks away from the summer season, and that suction you feel has everything to do with it.
YOU KLINGON BASTARDS, YOU KILLED MY PREDICTIONS. YOU KLINGON BASTARDS, YOU KILLED MY PREDICTIONS. YOU KLINGON BASTARDS.
I’m going to give Apatow a close edge. I’m also going to spend my free time with Rock Band. I’m like that. Otherwise, the three new pictures chart, but Prom Night and Street Kings hold some ground. April ground.
MC Search? Give them the gas face:
1. Forgetting Sarah Marshall - $17.7 Million
2. The Forbidden Kingdom - $17.4 Million
3. Prom Night (Neon Light) - $11.8 Million
4. 88 Minutes (and a Bitch ain’t one) - $9.5 Million
5. Street Kings - $8.0 Million
But if 21 tops Street Kings, don’t be surprised. And don’t fear the reaper. Nor do the wind or the sun or the rain (be like they are). C’mon baby. See you Sunday. We’ll be able to fly. Take my hand.
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