… is truly the worst kind of comedy. What kind is that you might ask? The kind that has a mammoth budget and spends all of it on cast, cameos, special effects and soundtrack, getting so carried away with itself on every level that it forgets that it is a comedy and THUS SHOULD BE FUCKING FUNNY.

Ugh. Why do I do this to myself? It seems not too long ago that I posted about my experience after reluctantly watching another steaming pile of shit, Zohan. Well Tropic Thunder makes Zohan seem like Monty Python and Ben Stiller makes Adam Sandler seem like John Candy.

On top of this and as some folks I work with know, I had vowed not to see Thunder
due to the fact that it breaks my Ben Stiller rule.



If he’s in it, I
don’t see it.



Ever since spending roughly an hour and a half of my life
watching something about mary where the only scenes that were even remotely funny were the ones with the dog (previously shown to us in
the commercials) I’ve had my doubts about this guy. Then there was several
other terrible experiences with his movies that were beyond my control to avoid (dates): zoolander and meet the
parents, the second of which I couldn’t even make it half way through*. Ever since
I have addressed every occasion of his mention in my presence with ‘fuck that no talent hack poseur’.
Seriously, Mr. Stiller has ONE BUTTON and that’s all he pushes, in every movie,
constantly.

So why did I watch it?

Number one, it wasn’t my choice. I don’t want to point any fingers, but my wife is a sucker for comedies – she is seduced by the trailers and the hype**. She loves to laugh and always hopes for the best with these things. Really, if I wasn’t such a cynical fuck I wouldn’t be able to blame her – is it too much to ask that comedies be funny?

So time after time she gives the benefit of the doubt to those who I feel do not deserve her time, let alone a glass of water in the desert. Her tendencies are really no different than my own, the way I so often bull-headedly ignore anything that is comedy so that occasionally I miss out on something that is actually funny. We are the ying and yang of movies and that is good. If it were up to me I would never see half the movies I am so quick to talk shit about, and this gives me the chance to research. But also she has introduced me to some great things I otherwise would not have known about or even considered due to their reputations or ad campaigns (Night of the Comet).

But it wasn’t just her. I could have asked her to wait to watch it on a night when I was at work. No my friends, there is a reason that although pessimistic I opted to sit through it.

That reason, of course, is Robert Downey Jr. playing a black man.  

Now, I knew this was not going to be a funny movie, and granted Downey’s
role would only be interesting for so long, but I had to see it because regardless of all the ads and trailers telling me it was him, I just could not believe that it
actually was RDJ.

Anyway, my vow was broken and not even the AMAZING make-up job on Mr. Downey could tilt my grill points upward in a smile. Later, a day or two after watching it I found I could look back on both RDJ’s and Tom Cruise’s roles as amusing, but while actually having to sit through this one they just couldn’t overcome the tired old hackery of the rest of the movie. You can buy the best tasting Salami in the world, but if you put it on white bread and cover it with ketchup you ain’t gonna taste a thing…

I still say Dodgeball is the only comedy of this type I like, and that had way more to do with Vince Vaughn and the fact that the teams were named ‘JOE’ and ‘COBRA.’***

………………

* I think I got up and left the girl in the theatre.

** Just as I am repeatedly seduced by things of a comic book origin.

*** See? Guess what movie I am anxiously awaiting.