I’ve resisted jumping into the Fanboys fray because a) I’ve only seen Kyle Newman’s cut of the movie*, b) he’s been nothing but cool to me, and c) I hate writing about anything even tangentially related to Star Wars.  Furthermore, I could care less about Superhero Movie‘s financial fortunes, so if the (literally) unwashed Star Wars masses (there’s that fence board again) want to boycott the movie, let ‘em get out of the house for once.  Like they were ever going to pay to see it or any other movie this weekend.

But when the mental defectives clamoring for their preferred cut of Fanboys balked at The Weinstein Company’s promise to release both versions to DVD, I remembered how delusional these fuckers could be and decided that Harvey – whom I’ve lambasted plenty in the past – was the aggrieved party in this conflict.  And since I can’t recall a single Star Wars fan rushing to Terry Zwigoff’s defense when his minor masterpiece, Bad Santa, was getting hacked up and re-shot by Todd Phillips, I’ve also decided to go out and buy a ticket for Superhero Movie this weekend out of spite. 

Sounds needlessly masochistic, no?  Well, if even a portion of the below scene is in the film, it’s already funnier than Fanboys.

I can’t believe I’m laughing at a crazy Tom Cruise gag in 2008, but that’s a frighteningly spot-on impression.  Time to hand over the Cruise crown, Stiller.

One more thing:  if you uncultured little shits even think about boycotting My Blueberry Nights, I’ve got somethin’ for ya.

*Which I’m not even sure exists anymore, since Scott Mosier subsequently tweaked that version (with Newman’s approval).