Another week, another varied selection of games for you. This week’s got two big releases once again, one big name shooter for the big bad consoles, and one badass ninja redefining what you can do on a handheld. Just be wary of all the girly games hitting today… there seem to be an awful lot.

Monday, March 17th

Dance! Online (PC)
Dance it out online here!


“Dance! Online is a dancing MMO and features customizable characters, dance teams, and competitions.”



Dave Perry is behind this. Dave Perry? What the hell happened, man? Acclaim is releasing this free MMO for PC, which is compatible with most dance pads. Your little sister can’t wait.
 
 

Tuesday, March 18th

Tom Clancy’s Rainbow Six Vegas 2 (Xbox 360, PS3)
Buy it from CHUD here!

I’m a little ashamed to admit that I never got into Rainbow Six. My computer could never handle it, so I steered clear… and when I picked up a 360 I never went to Vegas. Now I’ll have to rectify this, as I have friends telling me how great the multiplayer is. This one’s going to have instant co-op, smaller maps for online matches, and a smarter AI. Get ready. (Note: There’s also a limited edition available with the usual interviews and strategies that you’ll watch once and then never watch again. Oh, and a poker chip key chain)
 
 
 
 
 
Sega Superstars Tennis (PS2, Wii, Xbox 360, PS3, DS)
Buy it from CHUD here!

It’s like Mario Tennis, but with characters you don’t care about! Alright, to be fair, it is kinda interesting how they have other Sega characters playing, like Amigo from Samba De Amigo, or Ulala from Space Channel 5, but let’s be honest here, they don’t have the strongest stable in the world. Still, if this could control well on the Wii…
 
 
 
 
 
 

Metal Gear Solid: The Essential Collection (PS2)
Buy it from CHUD here!

For 30 dollars you can get one good game and two mediocre ones! Ones you probably already own and regret! Stupider than anything is the fact that the first disc of Metal Gear Solid is the original Playstation disc, which means you need an original PS1 memory card to save it on your PS2, despite it being marketed for the system. The next two games aren’t compatible on the newer, emotion engine-less PS3s. What a Snake!
 
 
 
 
 
 
Hot Shots Golf: Out of Bounds (PS3)
Buy it from CHUD here!

A British friend of mine who just visited NYC (and was buying up everything that he possibly could, because our dollar is weak as hell right now) told me about how much fun this game is. It’s been out there a while, and one of his biggest gripes with it is how absolutely busted the online part is, because in order to play a match you had to go online and set up an appointment for a match, and then show up at the set time to play. Buh? Hope they fixed that stuff, cause as anyone who has played the series before knows (especially the amazing PSP version), it’s a damn entertaining game. Yes, even if you think golf is a worthless “sport”.
 
 

Lost in Blue 3 (DS)
Buy it from CHUD here!

How did Lost in Blue get two sequels? The first had an original idea (trying to survive on a desert island) but completely failed due to some incredibly stupid design choices, like the fact that you had to carry water and food with you at all times, and collecting it was a chore. This time there’s four people on another island, who try to survive while finding out the truth about the other’s mysterious pasts. Huh… that seems familiar somehow…
 
 
 
Singstar ’90s (PS2)
Buy it from CHUD here!

The Karaoke series continues with a collection of songs from the 1990s. This collection’s got 30 hits from the decade I grew up in. Unfortunately it’s all mostly shit, like the Spice Girls, New Kids on the Block, Crash Test Dummies and Aqua. Yikes. I’ll stick with Rock Band, thank you very much.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Fantasy Aquarium (DS)
Buy it from CHUD here!

This might be the saddest thing I’ve ever seen. Can you not afford a fishbowl for your child? Do you really want them feeding digital fish (more than 30 varieties!) and digitally cleaning their tanks? Sad, sad, sad. 
 
 
 
 
 
Diary Girl (DS)
Buy it from CHUD here!


Speaking of sad… “Diary Girl functions like an electronic journal, allowing players to record their daily activities, check their horoscopes, and play mini-games.”

So basically this is an address book with a customizable avatar that allows you to talk to your girlfriends over wifi. There’s also minigames like jigsaw puzzles and personality tests. I’m guessing I’m not the target demographic for this game.
 


Wednesday, March 19th
 
Worms: A Space Oddity (Wii)
Buy it from CHUD here!
 
I’m not sure how they think they can get away with charging 50 bucks for this. I love the Worms series, but it hasn’t exactly seen a lot of innovation over the last decade or so it’s been around. Couple that with the fact that you can get a version of it for Xbox Live Arcade or the Nintendo DS that DOES support online multiplayer (this one doesn’t) and it seems a tad ridiculous to pay that much more for it, even if it does seem like it’d be a perfect fit with the Wii controls. Still, if you’re looking for a fun strategy game (that’s now set in the future with robotic sheep and the like), you could definitely do worse. That price tag hurts, though.
 
 
 
Thursday, March 20th

Ninja Gaiden Dragon Sword (DS)
Buy it from CHUD here!

This is the big one today. Ninja Gaiden has wowed everyone who’s seen Ryu’s first foray onto the Nintendo DS. Not only is it the best-looking game on the system so far, it’s also apparently amazingly easy to control (using only the stylus!) Could this be one of best games on the little system? We’ll see… and this will be a good way to tide us over until the next console sequel hits.

 
 

This Week’s Downloadable Games

Monday’s Wii Virtual Console titles-


Spelunker (NES, 1 player, 500 Wii Points- $5)

Barely remember this game, which was originally released on the Atari back in the day. You play a spelunker in his natural habitat, watching out for bats dropping guano on your head, and trying not to drown or fall to your death. All news on this reports to it being a hugely difficult game, mostly due to busted controls.
 
 
 

Super R-Type (Super NES, 1 player, 800 Wii Points- $8)

Now this is more like it. One of the best SNES shooters, Super R-Type was insanely difficult, even for shooter vets. So much stuff was going on that the ol’ Nintendo could hardly keep up with it, either, as the slowdown showcased.  Beat this and consider yourself one of the hardest of the hardcore.

 

Wednesday’s Xbox Live Arcade titles-


No new games for the Xbox this week! Instead, what we get are two new Xbox Live Arcade Hits- the Arcade’s version of a Platinum Hit. These are the first new hits since the program was announced at the beginning of the year, so it’s good to see them keep going with it, at least.

This week Doom and Assault Heroes get added to the mix, knocking their prices in half to 400 Points (5 bucks). That’s definitely a bargain for either one, and makes me feel like a tool for picking up Assault Heroes a couple months ago.

And that’s all for this week! Join me next week for a new list of games on the way, including a new Final Fantasy, and a Universe at War.