Ubisoft Press Conference

Alright folks, sharpen up your wrist-blades and slip on your most comfortable pair of night vision goggles, because it’s almost time for the Ubisoft Press Conference. Will we finally get some news on the much-anticipated Beyond Good and Evil 2? Can we expect a Rabbids title that takes advantage of the new Kinect? How many Tom Clancy branded games will be shown? Will the company lean into, or away from the controversy around covert surveillance when showcasing Watch Dogs? I’m guessing no, duh, upwards of 6 and hard away respectively. Find out here!

7:15 PM – Whelp, that sure was a thing. A little hard to get excited about already announced games, and games that look like already announced games. Hopefully we’ll get some hands-on impressions from Justin. Until then, Max out!

7:13 PM – Oh, but The Division is also an MMO. And a Tom Clancy game! Damn, still only at 2. Need a HAWX, Rainbow Six and Ghost Recon announcement stat.

7:10 PM – And we have a realistic cover based shooter folks!

7:08 PM – Boy it’s kind of depressing how we get all these grand, operatic introductions to games that then boil down to “excuse to shoot stuff!” The solution to the global apocalypse is a team of elite soldiers? Color me shocked!

7:07 PM – Good lord this trailer will not end. Are we going to get a game sometime tonight?

7:05 PM – Feel like I’m sitting through an economy lesson as told by a conspiracy loon.

7:03 PM – Disappointed that my Beyond Good and Evil prediction is looking accurate.

6:58 PM – Two new Trials games, one for console, one for mobile? I like. Also, love the dig at the big sci-fi epics. Great trailer.

6:54 PM – Pirates = Freedom. Rebellion. Adventure. Also Murder. Scurvy. Horrendous STDs. Filth. True role-models!

6:52 PM – High hopes for the off-year Assassin’s Creed, but again, we’ve seen this stuff before (see: header).

6:50 PM – Oh what’s that, the TV show has Kinect connectivity? I’m counting it! .500 on my predictions thus far! Also, as someone with a young niece, this interactive TV idea actually seems brilliant. Just make sure to train your tiny bastards not to shout at the movies.

6:48 PM – What is going on with that shirt? I think he stole it from someone’s metrosexual grandmother.

6:46 PM – Rabbids Nickelodeon show torpedoes my predictions. I don’t care what anyone says though, those things still crack me up.

6:45 PM – Man, I cannot tell you how many parents bought this for their kids while I was working at Best Buy, and I just couldn’t help but think “People, Dance Central! DANCE CENTRAL!”

6:43 PM – Ubisoft’s E3 Press Conference Bathroom Break brought to you by Just Dance.

6:40 PM – Person of Interest: The Game. Has that joke been made? It has to have been right?

6:39 PM – I’m pretty sure I’ve seen this Watch Dogs trailer. Hopefully they’ve saved some new stuff for the end.

6:38 PM – Oh shit, NSA joke! Prediction blown.

6:37 PM – Cross-platform customization features with the iPad? I’ll admit, that’s kind of cool.

6:35 PM – Not to beat a dead horse, but I’m frankly kind of shocked this is what they went with for the gameplay demo. It’s four guys ramming another vehicle in the least exciting way possible.

6:33 PM – I’m trying hard not to pre-judge too much based on a few minutes of demo footage, but this may be an early contender for the Dead Rising “Dope Trailer That Barely Relates to the Game” award.

6:32 PM – Oh boy, excitement levels are now severely tempered. Actual gameplay looks spectacularly unspectacular thus far, though the multiplayer elements do seem interesting.

6:29 PM – Phew, thank goodness they got this guy out here, this press conference was about to shift out of first. Also, that will be my sole automotive reference for the liveblog since I have to save the rest for my Grid 2 review. Coming soon!

6:28 PM – You know, I think I’d be OK if press conferences put a moratorium on “funny.”

6:24 PM – Holy shit, I’ve played like two racing games in the past year or so and even I have got some incredible automotive wood right now.  The Crew looks like the Fast & Furious game of our wetdreams.

6:24 PM – I didn’t catch any of that.

6:22 PM – Hoho, take that internet!

6:20 PM – Oh I think there are plenty of subjects South Park can’t make us laugh at Aisha, but I still have hope for Stick of Truth.

6:17 PM – 15+ minutes in, and we have a game I haven’t heard of before! The Mighty Quest for Epic Loot (don’t quote me), free to play Diablo meets Dungeon Keeper. Looks…OK?

6:14 PM –  Not really a platforming guy, but damn if Rayman Legends doesn’t look great. WiiU’s loss is our gain.

6:11 PM – From what I can tell Blacklist is Sam Fisher & his Super Spy Friends. Since co-op was one of the best parts of the last one, can’t really complain.

6:10 PM – We uh…we gonna get a feed of this Splinter Cell trailer? I feel like I’m watching a press conference bootleg.

6:10 PM – Weird fitness infomercial vibe thus far. Gonna work my glutes will I watch.

6:09 PM – Gonna need a frikkin’ frikkin’ counter here.

6:08 PM – Oh boy, not exactly Archer level material here.

6:07 PM – “Yeah, the game’s pretty good, and fun I guess. Or whatever.” Give that man his check!

6:06 PM – Aisha Tyler in the house!

6:04 PM – Man, nothing says videogame press conference like watching someone play guitar. Hopefully we get jugglers next!

6:02 PM – Wow, opening with Rocksmith? Can’t tell if hubris or criminal lack of games. Guess we’ll find out.

6:01 PM – Yay, somebody’s dad is playing guitar! Oh wait, it’s the guy from Alice in Chains.

5:56 PM – Aw yeah, enjoyin’ those hot generic dance beats.

5:55 PM – Bo-ring. Off to Twitch!

5:53 PM – Youtube feed appears to be down, now beginning Operation: Gamespot Mooch.


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