Sorry for the lack of update last week folks. I was busy celebrating
our presidents. Alright, that’s a lie, I was actually just recouping from my EA trip and a ton of drinking. But we didn’t really miss much, except for Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney and The Club.


Still, it was a better grouping than this week, which has some average-looking shooters and a whole bunch of budget titles. The downloads look a little better.

Let’s get started.

Tuesday, February 26th

Frontlines: Fuel of War (Xbox 360, PC)
Buy it from CHUD here!

The demo for Frontlines that’s up on the Xbox Marketplace shows it as being a competent shooter, but unfortunately merely competent doesn’t cut it anymore, in this day and age of truly classic FPSs. The futuristic setting and the drones that you can control does change things up a bit, but when a game’s 60 bucks a pop there’s only so many of the same kind you can buy. This might be worth a rental, at least.
 
 
 
 
 

Destroy All Humans! Big Willy Unleashed (Wii)
Buy it from CHUD here!

I never really got much playtime with either Destroy All Humans! title, but I could get behind the concept of it, at least. Always fun being a bad guy, or alien, such as the case may be. This is a Wii-specific version, although a PSP port will be hitting in May, and they’re working on an official third title for the series for the PS3. This one, as you may have figured out, focuses on the Big Willy character… you know, the  Lard Lad ripoff. It turns out that he’s been an Alien mech the whole time, so you can use him to reign down destruction on the little humans.
 
 
 
 
 
Agatha Christie: And Then There Were None (Wii)
Buy it from CHUD here!

This is a budget title produced by Dreamcatcher Interactive, one of the last few game companies to continue pumping out the point-and-click adventure titles. It’s based on a best-selling book of Christie’s, so you might know what happens if you’ve read the book. Apparently it’s not the most exciting game in the world, but the Wii really is the perfect system for adventure games, and it is only 30 bucks, so…
 
 
 
 
 

Wednesday, February 27th

Patapon (PSP)
Buy it from CHUD here!

Loco Roco? No, dummy, it’s Patapon! Sure it’s got a similar art style, cutesy characters, and a lot of delightfully happy music, but it apparently is its own beast. In it, you use your drums (pata pon= Drum sounds. In Japan. If you’re drunk on sake.) to guide your little creatures to war. This game’s getting a ton of praise, and looks to be another simple yet fun game for the PSP. Who thought the PSP would grow into becoming a legitimate contender for the handheld throne? Well, not in sales, obviously (those Nintendogs command respect) but it’s great to see it continuing to get more original games.
 
 
 
 
  
Lost: Via Domus (Xbox 360, PC, PS3)
Buy it from CHUD here!

I’m sure this is what you were all waiting for- a Lost game that features brand new characters and a story that will reveal nothing more about the plot! Oh, but you get to battle that smoke monster! That’s gotta be fun. The hell you use, a fan? Fear the power of my Vornado, smoke monster! Anyway, this will sell a veritable ton of copies, no matter how boring and drawn out Lost has become. (How come no one ever talks about how goddamn cheesy this show is, anyway? Is it shame? It’s shame, isn’t it?)
 
 
 

Turning Point: Fall of Liberty (Xbox 360, PC, PS3)
Buy it from CHUD here!
 
This is a pretty great concept, but let’s see how the execution is. The story here is that the Nazis actually attacked America, more specifically, New York (because we all know NYC hasn’t been attacked nearly enough times in our movies and video games). Yes, the Nazis rose to power because in this universe Winston Churchill got struck by a cabbie and died on December 13, 1931, which actually did really happen, although of course he survived it. The event also made for one of the most bizarre recent promotional stunts. In the game you play a construction worker who’s thrown into battles against Nazi paratroopers and Zepplins. The demo available now is pretty standard FPS stuff, but it doesn’t give us much of an idea of how the rest of the game plays.( Sounds a bit like Freedom Fighters, eh? That was a fun little sleeper)
 
 
 
 
Naruto: Ninja Destiny (DS)
Buy it from CHUD here!

I’m with Devin on most anime, although I do enjoy most of the big ones (Ninja Scroll, Fist of the North Star, Akira, Perfect Blue). But I can’t get into anime on TV. I have a few (adult) friends who fanatically watch Dragonball Z, and it just confuses the hell out of me. I know a lot of you go nuts for this Naruto guy, so here’s the DS version of the fighter. The Japanese version was pretty much panned as mediocre, but they apparently put more work into it for localization over here. Woo.
 
 
 
 
The Sims 2: FreeTime (PC)
Buy it from CHUD here!

Christ, will this series ever end? Ever? Who’s still buying these? Damn casual gamers… move on! There’s plenty more to see and do out there! You don’t need to have your sims engage in car restoration or poetry! I wish that were a joke, but those are actual activities in this game. If there’s nothing you want more than to see some mumble-mouthed Sim reciting poetry, save your 30 bucks and end your life.
 
 
 
 
 
Lost Planet: Extreme Condition (PS3)
Buy it from CHUD here!

The PS3 gets the Xbox 360 hit! This game surprised everyone by being pretty damn decent, and much better than the developer’s last game, Dead Rising. (Poor Dead Rising. I love everything zombies but that game just couldn’t hold together, could it?) This version will include some formerly downloadable content, such as the 360 map packs and the PC bonus characters. It’ll also be 20 bucks cheaper than a regular game. Nice.
 
 
 
 
 
Sega Bass Fishing (Wii)
Buy it from CHUD here!
 
I remember trying to trick my dad into playing video games with me by getting this for the Dreamcast. I didn’t have the fishing pole to make things more realistic, so it didn’t really stick. Maybe this one will work better. Another bargain title, but if the Wii remote controls are tight this could be some fun, even if it is a port of an old-ass arcade game. 
 
 
 
 
 
  

 
Heavenly Guardian (PS2)
Buy it from CHUD here!

Waddya know, another budget title! This is an animated 2D shooter of sorts, where you control a familiar character to shoot down every enemy and giant boss on screen. The reason the main character might look familiar is because it’s actually Pocky from Pocky and Rocky. Yes, this is the spiritual successor of sorts to the SNES games. This isn’t a direct sequel but the same people were involved and just couldn’t get the rights to the name. Pocky and Rocky are holding it down.
 
 
 
 
 
 


This Week’s Downloads!

Monday’s Wii Virtual Console titles-


Kirby 64: The Crystal Shards (N64, 1,000 Points – $10)

This is the first Nintendo 64 Kirby game, and also the first time the little pink fluff was rendered in 3d. It’s a pretty fantastic platform game, although I remember it was pretty short and easy. There’s also a 4-player multiplayer mode included with a few minigames.
 
 
 
 

 

Psychosis (Turbo Grafx 16, 600 Points, $6)

Yet another TG-16 shooter! This one’s by Naxat Soft, the guys behind the Crush series (Alien’s Crush and Devil’s Crush), which are two of the best console pinball games ever made. Alright, that’s horrible praise, but really, they’re great fun. This is a side scroller. Never tried it, but it seems like every new TG-16 game coming to the VC is a shooter, and that ain’t bad at all.
 
 
 
 
 
 

Wednesday’s Xbox Live Arcade title-


Triggerheart Exelica (Arcade – 800 Points – $10)

This stupid title hides a pretty-looking vertically scrolling shooter. It was originally an arcade game which was ported to the Dreamcast, although only in Japan. The twist this time is that you’ve got an “anchor shot” that you can use to grab enemy ships and use them as a shield or weapon, and you spend more of your time doing that than actually shooting enemies. I’d love to try this out (I do love me some shmups) but unfortunately, my Xbox hasn’t yet been returned to me. Fun!