I think the title of this piece will only make sense to you if you’ve ever been to a protest where they chanted ‘This is what democracy looks like.’ So like seven of you will grok that. For the rest of you, it’s a totally awesome title and not just straight forward, like it seems.

Anyway, Hasbro has released images of their HUNDRED DOLLAR Cloverfield monster toy, and despite the price tag none of the images show the toy to have Dick Sucking Action. Here is a list of what the toy does have, though:

  • 70 points of articulation and incredible life-like detail
  • Authentic sound
  • 14″ tall
  • 10 parasites
  • Two interchangeable heads
  • Statue of Liberty head accessory
  • Special Cloverfield collector’s edition packaging

If you assume each point of articulation is worth a buck, maybe you can rationalize the fact that you’re spending ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS on a toy.

The images do really take away the mystique of the monster, which surprised me – I thought the beast had been completely spoiled by the two very long shots of it at the end of the film. Turns out that the monster in action looks quite different from the monster in plastic. The difference, it seems, is that the plastic monster looks silly (he’s got such big cute ears!). But don’t take my word for it, judge for yourself! And click here to order it. Hey, you know what you’ll find if you look up conspicuous consumerism in the dictionary?