bradley-cooperThe Actor: Bradley Cooper.

Career in a Nutshell: Ol’ Fuckable Eyes. An actor who went from the poor man’s Josh Lucas to the rich man’s Josh Lucas to beefcake to honest-to-god-actor in the time it takes you to watch and understand High Tension.

Must see Work: The Hangover. Silver Linings Playbook. Limitless. The A-Team. The Place Beyond the Pines. MIDNIGHT MEAT TRAIN.

Closest Brush With Comic Book Cinema: Well, Midnight Meat Train is a Clive Barker short story they undoubtedly adapted into one of those Clive Barker compilations. But the film is based on the book. Limitless has a comic book vibe. His work on Alias flirts with it.

Comic Bookish Traits: Look at those goddamn eyes. That hair. The cheekbones. Have you seen him shirtless? It’s like God took hair and ran it through a Zyliss grater onto his perfect form. He is sharp, funny, athletic, and unlike so many stars actually in his prime during his prime.

Ideal Pairing: He’d have been a good Oyzmandias. A great Green Goblin if the ages lined up. He has the Captain Marvel look going on. Could have pulled off Green Arrow, Green Lantern, or any wide variety of characters. He’s got that good kind of bland going on that works so well for heroes, not as much for villains. Guy’s an ace. And what a set of peepers…

If CHUD Had a Say: I’d give him a crack at 100 Bullets‘ Cole Burns.

Likelihood: 95%. The stars are lined up.

Previously: Philip Seymour Hoffman. John Cusack.

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