The Television Return of Who Gives a Fuck!

Recently, I saw an ad for the television show Eli Stone, which I have never seen because while I like Johnny Lee Miller I already get my daily requirement of bland from baked potatoes and corn flakes. Ads are important for television shows as they drive viewers to them with their snippets of funny moments, the promises of intriguing plot developments, and all of the other sassafras that lures eyes to couches and fists to remotes.

What alarms me is how sad it must be for Eli Stone if their marketing revolves around the triumphant return to television for… KATIE HOLMES.

Katie Holmes? Really? Is that all you’ve got?

There are people whose return to television would enthuse me, invoke an emotional response worthy of getting me to tune in. Bill Cosby. Hal Linden. Phil Hartman

Katie Holmes returning to television doesn’t mean anything aside from the fact that she needs the gig, especially if casting agents have seen her body of work to date. She’s managed to carve a nice career without having delivered really any performances of note. Add to that equation whatever the hell the Tom Cruise relationship is/was/will be unearthed ina time capsule/could be and you have someone to which a ‘triumphant return to television’ of is hardly a major event for.

I saw this recently in an ad for another television show, some triumphant return to television, equally damning.

It made me wonder. There was a time when that mattered, but there’s enough feature quality television being done and with really good actors… if you need a gimmick you just might as well bend over and take your medicine without any pomp and circumstance.

What I’m basically saying is, if Eli Stone thinks Katie Holmes is going to inspire new people to watch Eli Stone, than Eli Stone needs to go away.

- Nick Nunziata had a lazy eye once.

Also, here’s our latest Lucky Nightsticks song, Lye and Cinnamon. If you so dare, have a listen and comment here on the message boards.