A Nice Hard Slap – Eight Year Olds Can’t Vote.

I’m
voting for Obama, which is about as much a no-brainer as the people who
aren’t. That said, if I wasn’t pretty damn sure he’s the right answer
for the country right now I’d harbor a little resentment for folks in
his campaign team who approved child-sized “VOTE FOR OBAMA” t-shirts
unless they were specifically printed for the midget and dwarf
contingent of the voting public.

Why?

Because
I saw an eight year old kid wearing an Obama shirt the other day.
Walking around as if he was wearing a Spider-Man or Savage Dragon
[gotta name drop the greats or no one will] one.

Now
I understand that Obama to many feels a lot more like an actual hero
than some fictional character who shoots webs, and if he delivers on
his words he will be. But, seeing him on iconic t-shirts scares me for
a variety of reasons, especially on kids but anyone really. Why?

1. The real-life folks I’m used to seeing on t-shirts tend to be martyrs. Don’t want a self fulfilling prophecy there.

2.
It creates unfair expectations. From what I understand, a president’s
true legacy isn’t known until several terms after they leave office.
Other than the obvious benefits the country will see right out of the
gate from a fresh, healthy, and DARKER face there’s no telling how much
the previous presidents’ baggage will affect his tenure.


3. T-shirts seem awfully like Cliff’s Notes for actually doing the research.

On
a child it is just ludicrous. Either a parent is using their offspring
as portable billboards, which is useless* or we’re supposed to believe
that a child actually has committed to a presidential candidate. And
before you jump to conclusions… it was a WHITE KID wearing the shirt.
I know a lot of people, including some folks I’m sometimes mystified to
call my friends want to think that Obama becoming president represents
some rallying cry in the future war between blacks and whites, but it’s
not even close to a reality we live in circa Earth 2008 [not that
there’s a shortage of people of varying shades who want to kick America’s ass out there].

A
kid wearing an Obama shirt is stupid. I understand the kids who have
t-shirts proclaiming their grandmother #1. I don’t like them typically,
but I pretty much am in love only with MY KID anyway. I can get the
idea of kids being little billboards for a product they like, a saying
their mom thinks is cute, or whatever. It teaches me WHAT NOT TO DO AS
A PARENT. But, the asshole who thinks it’s cool to dress junior up in a
“Vote for Obama” shirt is as bad a parent as the one who takes their
kid into R-rated horror films.

It’s
selfish. It’s bogus. It makes the candidate look desperate and shitty
and all it makes me want to do is smash the kid and their parent with Mjolnir.

So don’t do it.

-
Nick Nunziata’s daughter is voting for a unicorn. She told me so.



* – Especially since convicted child molesters forfeit their right to vote.

Before
I go, here’s the latest thing I’m adding to the blog. Each day I blog I’ll
have a song, a piece of artwork, a photo, a Mary Worth, or something to
further justify your click and to give the trolls a little more ammo. Today, the first out of our SuperHero and SuperVillain Notebook, Surveillance Sally:


Art by Andrea Rothe.