The WGA strike is about to hit home for a whole new audience.

NBC has cancelled the televised Golden Globes ceremony, originally set to air next Monday, January 13. Suddenly several new segments of the entertainment industry will need to find a new way to prey on creative types, at least for the evening. With no craft services to plunder, red carpet vultures will have to fall upon one another, sucking up their neighbors’ plastic surgeries like it’s The Shunting. How will Andy Dick score a handjob from a guy in a tuxedo without heading to Aaardvark’s Odd Ark on Melrose?

Maybe naming Rumer Willis ‘Miss Golden Globe ’08’ wasn’t such a good choice of totem, guys.

Actually, the awards apocalypse isn’t quite upon us. Instead of a big show or even an offline dinner, a series of small parties will still be taking place with some media coverage still taking place. The awards will still go to their respective winners, though you’ve got to wonder if it’ll mean the same thing to the notoriously image-hungry Hollywood Foreign Press Association.

Nikki Finke has printed a schedule which proves that NBC understands it has a responsibility to fill several hours of airtime on Monday with bland, content-free programming. The following is what you can tune in during the eve.

— At 9 PM there will be a press conference covered by NBC News announcing the Golden Globe winners. (9pm-10pm)

— At 8 PM, we are negotiating with Dick Clark Enterprises for a one-hour retrospective/clip show.

— At 7 PM, we will air a
Dateline with clips and interviews with nominees. (Currently scheduled to air for two hours on Saturday night.)

— At 10 PM, we will broadcast an "Access Hollywood" style, Golden Globes party show…visiting the various parties in Hollywood

That’s going to make liveblogging the non-event a whole new sort of meta non-event, which is where all the online awards commentary has been headed for years, anyway.