Real news about movies you (should) care about has been thin since before the holidays. So for some, the prospect of sitting through long, rather poorly produced ‘news reports’ in different languages to continue the Cloverfield monster tease might seem like a good way to kill part of an hour.

More power to them; I’m glad somebody transcribed all this sludge so I don’t have to break out the dictionaries.

But it’s been almost two months since web video hacks tried to pry a few frames of the movie’s beast out of the trailer, so with only two weeks left to work, Paramount is back on the attack. /Film has a good collection and transcription of three clips that ‘document’ the destruction of an oil platform, presumably by the beast. In the middle of the German clip, you can almost make out a frame or two of the thing. When you’re not distracted by the fact that the sinking platform looks like it’s made out of paper mache and ground-up Necco wafers, that is.

There’s also some stuff there about Slusho, including a new commercial, contributing to the notion that the drink is behind the creation of the beastie. OK, fine, whatever. If it’s not actually a giant moose I’m no longer interested.

If riding the marketing wave doesn’t work for you, feel free to indulge in reports like the one printed by uncommonly well-informed game insider Surfer Girl a couple weeks back ("about as good as that American Godzilla film") or take heart in facts like this one: the only true in-town Atlanta screening of the film is the evening of the 17th. Is that out of secrecy, or fear?