UPDATED! Writer Roberto Orci categorically denies the plot details that Aint It Cool ran. Skip to the end for his statement.
It had to happen. The details of Star Trek XI are leaking out, no matter how secretive JJ Abrams is being while he films the movie. And something else that was inevitable: everything we learn about the film makes it sound worse and worse.
Look, I’d love to give this movie the benefit of the doubt. I have been a huge proponent of rebooting this series for a while, and I think that a movie that captures the serious yet campy tone of the original series is going to be one that becomes a big hit in the mainstream. People are ready for a Swinging Star Trek after so many movies of Stoic Star Trek; the Next Generation crew bored America away from the franchise. But there needs to be more than green skinned babes (although that helps) and a captain who likes to have ensigns check his log. You need a decent script – and if you’re miring the whole damn thing in continuity, you need to get that continuity right.
If reports received by Aint It Cool News are true, Abrams is failing on both counts. Scoopers tell the site that the movie is filled with cringe-worthy concepts, like having Kirk cheat the Kobayashi Maru test by seducing someone, and that Spock is the person who turns him in. And then when he graduates people protest, with signs and all. If that’s true the movie steams in a big, big way.
On top of that, reports indicate that the screenwriters, Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman, know Red Jack Shit about Star Trek, having the Enterprise built at Area 51. Guh? Of course if this is all a hoax, my apologies to the guys, but how hard would it have been to find out that the ship was built in Earth orbit? Actually, it’s sort of obvious, because the thing is so fucking huge that getting it off the ground would have been a hell of an undertaking; it makes more sense to build humongous starships in orbit.
Meanwhile, Leonard Nimoy let slip to MTV that there are not just two Spocks in the movie – himself and Zachary Quinto – but also a mysterious third. I hope it’s Genesis Planet Spock, in constant ponn farr and needing to schtupp every female he comes across.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Paramount, lift the veil of secrecy. Not everything Abrams does has to be some sort of puzzle or mystery. Sometimes knowing a thing or two about a movie – especially a Star Trek movie that’s looking to reboot the once lucrative franchise – can be a good thing.
UPDATE: Roberto Orci popped onto the Don Murphy message board and completely and specifically denied that the details on Aint It Cool were true.
No area 51. That makes no sense. The Earth KNOWS there are aliens. What possible meaning could an area 51 have?
No Kirk as bad student. We all know he’s a genius.
No protesters with signs about anything.
Yes, there’s great action, but we’ve said that in other interviews.