While we’re all scrutinizing every word of Jim Windolf’s Vanity Fair profile on Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (what with all of the news items that’ve been carved out of the article, I think I’ve seen the entire text excerpted online), Dark Horse has let slip the cover of the official comic book adaptation of what must be the most anticipated film of 2008 (next to The Hottie and the Nottie). And it’s got the most astonishing reveal!

That’s right! In Steven Spielberg’s alternate 1950s, bikers brandish broadswords! And if that’s not technically a broadsword, blow me. I’ll not have my alliteration marred by accuracy.

Even more amazing, Dark Horse has released a detailed synopsis of the film’s plot. Feast your eyes!

"The most anticipated movie event of the summer comes to comics in this adaptation of the fourth Indiana Jones film!

The intrepid Doctor Henry Jones Jr. is back in his biggest adventure yet! This time, the world-renowned archaeologist finds himself caught in a series of events that all point to a discovery unlike any other. But will his rivals in pursuit of this priceless treasure seize his quarry from right under his nose? Not if he, and a few unexpected companions, have anything to say about it!

The thrill and the humor, the action and the romance, the hat and the whip–everything you love about Indy is here! This is a tale sure to please longtime fans as well as foster a whole generation of new ones!"

Well, shit. Though the production stills indicated otherwise, my extraordinarily well-placed source swore up and down that Spielberg was dead set on jettisoning the hat and the whip in favor of a tam and a tree branch. That’ll learn me to email with David Koepp!

In case you’re wondering, the comic hits bookshelves on May 22, 2008.