’ll never give up on Chow Yun-Fat, but I have completely given up hope that he’ll ever make a decent English language film. Actually, I remember kinda liking James Foley’s The Corruptor, but let’s not get into that now.

Rather, let us slouch in collective dismay at the news that the one-time coolest man in the known universe has consented to co-star in James Wong’s live-action Dragonball thingy. Chow will play Master Roshi, the mentor of Goku (Justin Chatwin), "a warrior alien who protects the Earth from an endless stream of rogues bent on dominating the universe and controlling mystical objects known as Dragon Balls." Sounds like a metaphor for manhood under siege. I’m not sure that makes any sense, but look at the material I’m dealing with.

Joining Chow in this uncalled for adaptation of the anime mainstay will be James Marsters, Jamie Chung and the unbearably cute Emmy Rossum. The film is currently shooting in either Mexico City or Los Angeles (I could get the specifics, but c’mon!), and is rushing to hit an August 15, 2008 remake (a sure indicator of proud, careful craftsmanship). As this is a 20th Century Fox fantasy film, you’ll need a backhoe to bury your expectations deep enough.