STUDIO Rykodisc
MSRP $19.95
RATED Unrated
RUNNING TIME 140 minutes
• Bilderberg 2007 Report – Extended footage of the annual secretive conference
• The Battle for the Republic featurette with extended interviews and footage
• Special performance of Shackles on Me by Blues legend Jimmie Vaughan

The Pitch

Any insane rambler on a street corner can make a documentary, provided they know how to mine the public domain.

The Humans

Alex Jones, George W. Bush, John F. Kennedy, Bill Gates, Al Gore, the Queen of England, Warren Buffet, H.G. Wells and Chairman Mao

The Nutshell

Alex Jones set out to make Endgame: Blueprint for Global Enslavement as another step in his global crusade to show people that they’re being used by the New World Order. Seeing as how the N.W.O. only exists in the minds of the mentally ill, that means Jones is fighting an uphill battle. But, when you’ve got a megaphone and some public domain clips…the world will stand up and listen. If by the World, you mean a bunch of rabid Ron Paul supporters who don’t believe America ever went to the Moon.

I didn’t say that the Smurfs caused the Holocaust, all I’m saying is that Gargamel didn’t act alone. Ok? OK? Can I talk?!?

The Lowdown

Endgame: Blueprint for Global Enslavement is a hard film to review and I spent the fast days trying to get some more research on what Jones attempted to do with the documentary. His Prison Planet site is an interesting read, as well as Infowars. But, I also went out of my way to read a copy of the Unabomber’s Manifesto back in High School. I like to give every weirdo their day in the sun, but Alex Jones went 2 Girls, 1 Cup on my brain. Needless to say, I had to rethink my approach to what he was presenting here.

To the normal person, this is a reminder of an infamous day in American History. This documentary wants you to believe that this happened because Woodrow Wilson slapped a cross-eyed whore.

Like most conspiracy theorists that make their base camp online, Jones has to borrow from what’s freely available to convey his ideas. Stock news footage along with clips from Metropolis and other available film material is strung together to set the stage. Jones tells us that H.G. Wells foresaw the coming blueprint of the New World Order and how they spent the 20th Century setting up humanity for some pillow biting time. From there, the theories starting flying at rapid-fire pace as we learn about how the CIA turned China to Communism. Then, there’s the bit about how Planned Parenthood and the Nazis are creating a New Age of Eugenics in America.

This is what happens when you don’t let new guys into Cobra Kai. They get all pissy and start making works of crazed paranoia.

When Jones chooses to start bringing up the Bilderberg Group, the documentary starts sliding into Protocols of Zion territory. Playing upon the concept of a secret society of similar thinking religious heads designed to prey upon the masses, Jones starts his doomsday scenario. The world is being divided up by its new masters and eighty percent of the living is set to be mass-murdered to usher in a new age. Now, I’m a fan of Coast to Coast AM and all of the weirdos that followed Art Bell, but this is too much. By the time that the talk of The Club of Rome came up, I was clawing at my chair. I wanted out, I had too much of the crazy. I had seen too many badly cut news clips of US led Wars set to scenes from Metropolis and a few older Dystopian films that I couldn’t quite place.

Woodrow Wilson slapped that cross-eyed whore pretty hard.

I wish that I still had my outline page from my notebook for the readers to see what I culled from my viewing and what I wanted to say. But, we’d be going on and on about such things as how Jones setup a Red Dawn scenario five different ways in the film. The documentary would be killer, if somehow he was pulling a giant Colbertian joke on us all. But, that wouldn’t be the Alex Jones that made Loose Change. That man believes every word that he’s saying.

The Package

Endgame: Blueprint for Global Enslavement is a standard release from the good folks at Rykodisc. You get a music video from Blues Legend Jimmie Vaughan that’s pretty good. Then, there are more paranoid happenings with a secret tape of Bilderberg Conference. Toss on some bonus freak-out material in The Battle of the Republic feature and the crazy train comes to a halt. I actually felt exhausted after watching this DVD in its entirety.

He’s strong to the finish, because he doesn’t eat the Mainstream Media’s Psychotropic Spinach. He’s Alex Jones the Prison Planet man…toot, toot!

The crazy bombs dropped left and right in Endgame: Blueprint for Global Enslavement are nothing new. People have been spending their entire lives trying to piece together horrible acts and secret plans, so that they can understand a world outside of their control. These folks shouldn’t be ridiculed, as their beliefs come from a lack of understanding and fear. A more cynical person could make the same argument about those that strongly align themselves with organize religion. But, it’s Christmas and I don’t want to throw any logs on unnecessary fires.

If you’ve got a crazy relative, then you’ll probably get their brain working overtime if you drop this in their stocking. The law of averages states that you will probably know someone who’ll eat this stuff up. Conspiracy theories are fun, as they give people a mystery to work out in their head. The only problem with that is the events that theory posit in Endgame: Blueprint for Global Enslavement never happened. What you’re left with is the rantings of a man trying to figure out his perception of a world gone to hell.

Between the colossal failure of The Golden Compass and this documentary, my daemon needed some time to heal. The pancake helps with the healing, don’t judge.

0.0 out of 10