One cheer for email… and another 20 by way of my knobby knuckles to its digital privates. That’s about the ratio of good email I get to the ratio of promises to turn my junk into a sequel to Anaconda or tap the fast track to a life of wealth based on a degree I can earn in a couple of clicks, as opposed to all the other suckers who waste 8-12 years of their life going to school for.
Of course, there’s also the sinister stuff- the email from friends and family that’s nothing more than spam in disguise: the pictures of puppies accompanied by poems and a promise that you’ll sack the woman of your dreams if you pass the heart warmer on to 13 other people: i.e.- the chain letter.
Like recent sub par horror takes on technology trends (ala Stay Alive and its barrel scraping ilk), the nefarious chain letter gets its own movie (ironically titled Chain Letter) thanks to Saw producer Mark Burg by way of writer/director Deon Taylor.
The project, focusing on a killer who offs teens unwilling to forward chain emails (get this!) with a chain, has just added naughty girl Nikki Reed, Brick alum Noah Segan, Saw sequel staple Betsy Russel and the fantastic and grimace prone Keith David as a cop seeking the chain killer played by perpetually angry white guy Michael Bailey Smith.
Now, if they were going for a guy who goes on a murderous rampage, targeting teens who DO forward chain mail, that would be something I could get behind. They’d be tapping into the dark recesses of pent up rage most folks under the age of 40 and over the age of 18 feel on a day to day basis thanks to Gramma and/or other sundry relatives unversed in the true meaning of email: exchanging insults and links to porn.
As is and sans any pleasant surprises, I’m placing this project in the file “uninterested”, subfolder "gimmicky teen targeted horror" and leaving it at that.
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