have no inside information on the upcoming shaky handheld monster opus Cloverfield. I couldn’t even tell J.J. Abrams from a guy at open mic poetry night at my local coffee shop and he probably thinks is a gay fetish site [and he’d be RIGHT] but after downloading the hi-rez version of the trailer for his Bad Robot produced flick and watching it at Beyond Hollywood (because I’m too lazy to upload it myself) I find it hard not to think the movie is about ol’ Cthulhu himself descending on New York City.

First of all, the shot at the link above shows the back of the beast only. My argument is that Cthulhu’s head is so recognizable that to show any more of the creature would be to give it away. As a result, we just see the gigantic and slimy back of a large city beater.

Second of all, another theme in the Cthulhu mythos is one of madness. Whether or not there are little beasts running around in this film is uncertain but even if those beasts are human it still plays to the material. Who’s to say that the secondary creatures aren’t folks who go mad under the influence of Mr. Cthulhu? Who’s to say that it doesn’t transform them? Who’s to say that the fucker doesn’t give birth to little versions of himself who run amok?

Third of all, I cannot imagine someone like Mr. Abrams would be content to deliver something as lovely but conceptually small as "just a monster movie". It’d be impossible to make a big budget movie about the subject without serious studio intervention, much less avoiding the wrath of the necessary and theoretically forthcoming At the Mountains of Madness. The only way to acheive a film about the tentacle faced cutie by the sneak attack.

I could be wrong. I probably am. It just feels like I’m not. If I was in his much more expensive shoes, it’s how I’d do it. He’s gotta be at least half as brilliant as I am.

It just feels right. It’d explain a lot.

I’ll probably be proven wrong in a few days but something about this combination of situations throws off that vibe. Of course, part of the nature of this whole Cloverfield speculation feeds their marketing of the thing.

I may be a sucker but I’m looking forward to the middle of January and I guess that’s the point.