This isn’t news so much as proof that William Shatner is a national treasure (stay back, Canada, he belongs to us now) and can occasionally let his storied ego be the butt of a joke. Before we get to the gist of Shatner giving JJ a good shellacking for turning coat and embracing the moons of Tatooine, let’s take a moment to review the once and future Captain Kirk’s body of work:
- Performed a stirring spoken-word rendition of “How to Please a Woman” on Dinah Shore’s 1970s talkshow Dinah!
- Reprimanded Today show host Jane Pauley in 1980 for questioning Shatner’s love of Promise Margarine, one of the first of many products he’d hock as a TV commercial pitchman.
- Gone on record saying he’s read his own biography, stating of the subject, “I can’t stand the guy.”
- Gave his ex-wife the business in 2003 when, manipulating the terms of their divorce settlement, provided her the horse-semen she requested (together they owned a horse named, not joking, Great Days Came the Son) but not in the manner she requested. Potential buyers of horse semen (for breeding purposes, of course) apparently prefer “freshly cooled” horse semen as opposed to completely frozen. Point Shatner.*
Naturally the seasoned actor would have an opinion on JJ Abrams directing the next Star Wars feature and, as you can expect from a man who’s purposefully sabotaged horse semen, he holds nothing back:
“He’s being a pig. He’s collecting the two franchises and holding them close to his vest. He’s probably the most talented director of that ilk that we have, but he’s gone too far this time. I think of him as a buddy of mine, I’ve taken him out for sushi, I think it’s time for JJ and I to have another sushi and let me put him straight about two of the largest franchises and not employing me in either one of them, I think is just foolhardy.”
Shat’s being humorous here, even though there’s probably some minor agitation over not being included in some capacity in Abrams’ 2009 Star Trek. At this point Abrams should probably do his comrade a solid and put a lightsaber in the dude’s old, Canadian hands.
Perhaps it really is time for these two titans of sci-fi to “have another sushi.”
*Shatner facts provided by highly entertaining read, The Encyclopedia Shatnerica. Cannot recommend this book enough. (Buy it from CHUD)