I’m not wise. I’m just observant. And only partially filled with shit.
So, in what is morphing into a "Leak a Day, Five Days a Week" habit,
here’s another bit of light fare for the tail end of the week. A little sage
advice. In the future, this may be a fun "Dear Abby" style column if
you folks support it.

Sage advice, like "Don’t be in Rocky 5!". That’s very good Sage advice. Here’s some more…

  1. I hate the word "assets", at least when delivered by some P.R. firm commissioned to pimp a movie, DVD, or product of some sort. They’ll send an email to us offering some assets for Product X. What assets means is "shit to promote our thing". They’re not trying to buy advertising, provide stuff for us to give to you, or deliver anything you might be interested in like a special trailer, exclusive still, or whatever. Is the same benign shit. But it’s an asset so we need to get excited! Don’t fall for assets, folks.

  2. I present to you Ron Newcomer, celebrity photographer extraordihilariousnaire. This guy has been snapping pictures of the famous and nowhere near famous since Ralph Macchio was in short pants. Unline most self-proclaimed celebrity photographers, he’s in most of the pictures and he looks nearly the same in all of them. It’s almost like he’s a cardboard cutout placed alongside the "talent". I got mesmerized clicking through and seeing the same comical and alluring snaps of each celebrity standing next to The Newcomer. See if you don’t do the same.

    Photo Copyright Ron Newcomer.

  3. Shrek 3 comes out on DVD this coming week. I know you guys are too smart to buy it, but can you possibly make sure no one else does too?

  4. Assassin’s Creed. Xbox 360. Duh. You know you need it. Tuesday. I don’t have any inside info, but take a look at these videos.

  5. had just gotten tired of The Onion and decided not to buy any more of their books when they released Our Dumb World (buy it here from CHUD and Amazing).

    Folks, it is hilarious in so many ways that I cannot do much more than tell you that it is a must own book. Seriously, it’s brilliant. One of the funniest books I done ever did saw.

  6. Wow, you’re learning film terms. Congratulations. You’re watching arthouse fare, discovering the masters and all sorts of stuff that sounds really heady in a conversation. I’m proud of you. Doesn’t mean you have to spout it at the coffee shop or create a message board thread about it. That’s more for your inner film tastes and makeup, not to regurgitate.

  7. Variety & Batman:

    Shooting began in the Asian city last week for "Batman: The Dark
    Knight," marking the first time the story takes place outside Gotham in
    the film franchise’s history.

    Advice to Variety: Find out where the fuck did the Tibetan stuff in Batman Begins happen in Gotham.

  8. I spend a lot of time in book stores. I like to read. I like coffee. I like being in public where I can be mobbed by adoring fans. It’s a perfect situation really. Upon finishing the long and life-sapping Stanley Kubrick Collection I really wanted to read a book about the guy and in the past I’d remembered seeing tons of the books lining the shelves of bookstores. Most likely downtown, but still…

    Well, since I bounce back and forth between the Borders and Barnes & Noble locations in my neck of the woods, I’ve noticed their focus getting less and less interesting. They had a death metal section in the music department as recently as last Christmas [the perfect time of year for that music], a nice selection of trade paperbacks, a good bit of film stuff, and more. Not the case these days, at least not by me. Look at this:

    The local Barnes & Noble Bible section. Just the Bibles, mind you.

    The local Barnes & Noble Christianity section. Just the Christianity, mind you.

    The local Barnes & Noble Religious Fiction section. Religious FICTION.

    The local Barnes & Noble Romance section’s New Releases wall.

    Two more full shelves of the local Barnes & Noble’s Romance section.

    Two more full shelves of the local Barnes & Noble’s Romance section.

    Five more full shelves of the local Barnes & Noble’s Romance section.

    The local Barnes & Noble film section.

    My advice to you is to speak up. I did. Some of you folks live in Manhattan or Los Angeles where the film industry is more prevalent, so you’re squared. But, these big book stores are a great resource with their long hours, versatilty and good prices [I’m happy to pay an extra few bucks for an obscure title here than to hunt at others places and have to finally go online]. Speak up. Buying trends dictate their stock, but not wholly. Once they cease to be a one stop shop for their preferred products, they begin to lose the customers like me. And there’s a lot of them.

  9. If you don’t listen to The Greyboy Allstars, you need to. I get to write my ticket, these guys are getting paid by studio dollars to do the definitive funk/jazz soundtrack.

    Note: You don’t have to agree or believe the above statements.