follows is a scattershot bit of random thoughts, links, and images that
showcase the lunacy that exists in the entertainment world and beyond.
Folks who remember my old missives from the old Steady Leak articles
should find this kind of stuff familiar. Folks seemed to get a kick out of the first installment, and each Wednesday should fall victim to another installment. Don’t expect anything deep here but something may tickle your fancy.
Hope you dig:
The List of Dumb
Bandanavich. Peter Bogdanovich is a pretty diversely talented individual, staying in the somewhat public eye for several decades despite a lot of mitigating circumstances which would ruin most. That said, he has the gall to rock the "Bandana Around the Neck" look (see it here) without asking permission from Cthulhu? I’m not pulling a "fashion police" here. I don’t care what brand he’s wearing. I’m just concerned that someone who’s sort of good looks like someone who I wish a large rock from space would land on.
- I am 4-LOM. What the fuck happened to Herbert Lom? Remember that cat from the Pink Panther films? Oh, and if your only experience with Pink Panther films involves Steve Martin, go into your parent’s bedroom and find daddy’s service revolver and do with it what you will. Herbert friggin’ Lom. I miss the guy. Also, whatever became of Ron Ely? And Lisa Eilbacher. The world still needs these people.
- Everyone Douches Raymond. A giant fuck-all box set just hit stores for Everyone Loves Raymond. A West Wing-esque collection featuring every godforsaken season of the safe sitcom for people who hate having a soul. The formula of Weird Brother + Boring + Husband Deprived of Nookie + Eccentric Grandparent Characters is too much for audiences to handle. The hilarity is LEGION and all we can do is scratch our heads while Ray Romano cashes checks and makes me wish Italy had been decimated in the war to prevent all of this. Anyone who needs every episode of Everyone Loves Raymond is a dangerous cocksuck and needs to be removed from whatever post or position they hold at whatever company it is. I don’t care if they’re the janitor at a slaughterhouse. THEY’RE UNDERQUALIFIED. Can you imagine being a completist for this pile of bland? You may buy this box set from the CHUD.com Amazon link HERE.
- Cutting Edge Sports Journalism. I turn to sports journalism to be inspired. For example, upon the Boston Red Sox winning the championship I was surprised to read this headline:
Fuck a baby. The fans of the Boston Red Sox cheered at them during the victory parade? Next thing I’ll be taught by sports writers, men and women who are paid for their talents, is that the fans shat the food they ate at the celebration and that the ejaculate they unloaded upon hearing the news of victory has hardened on the carpet and is a prickly place to step while barefoot. Fucking NEWS FLASH.
- Big Fans of Riki-Oh? A headline did please me today, because I look for Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky references everywhere I go, whether it be in a preacher’s sermon or when I eat at an Asian restaurant and someone punches a stomach directly into the camera. Imagine my pleasure to see a Riki reference over at IGN.com:
- New York Yanks Me. My co-favorite sports team ever hasn’t made a good decision in a few months, whether it be in their playoff roster decisions, dealing with the Alex Rodriguez situation and Joe Torre situation as well as the benign leadership under anyone with the last name Steinbrenner. Though Joe Girardi is a great choice for a replacement manager, the problem was hardly Mr. Torre in the first place. As a fan since the mid-70’s I must say that for the first time ever my team deserves whatever shit it has coming its way. Fuck ‘em.
- Disarmingly Unattractive. Is Time Magazine on anal crack? Their list of the 25 best horror films is rather crap [Red Dragon?], but it’s their description of Sissy Spacek as "disarmingly attractive" that shocked me more than the horrors of their list. Unless they meant that I’d rather lose my arms than find her attractive, then I apologize. Is she disarmingly attractive to you folks?
You be the judge. Is she disarmingly attractive? Scroll down and look at her picture and decide for yourselves:
"Let’s take a ride to McDonalds!"