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STUDIO: Bloody Earth Films
MSRP: $14.98
RATED: NR
RUNNING TIME: 77 min
SPECIAL FEATURES:

  • Commentary with producer Amy Lynn Best and director Mike Watt
  • Making of Featurette
  • Gag Reel

The Pitch

It’s Bordello of Blood, but not as good.

The Humans

Amy Lynn Best, Aaron Barnard, Mike Watt

The Nutshell

A brothel of blood thirsty vampires slaughters some local clients, breaking a long time truce between the vampires and the hunters in the area.

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After watching the movie, Shawn found only one way to protect himself from having to watch this shit again

The Lowdown

This is a low budget film that really looks low budget. The movie begins with a man trying to rape a young woman in an alley when she is saved by a mysterious woman who rips the man’s face off. This is very interesting in that it presents the woman who saved the girl as a hero.

However, what we see next is the girl has been taken to a brothel where she is promised that no one will ever hurt her again. This is where we learn that they are vampires. Things switch directions when the vampire whores slaughter three customers, including a newly married couple. This is a problem with the movie, as the women who are supposed to be saviors turns out to be killers.

A group of Irish Vampire hunters led by a man named Sheridan have had a truce with the brothel for years. The agreement was that if the vampires stay out of the town’s business, the hunters would leave the vampires alone. The men that the hunters killed were all out-of-towners brought to the brothel through the Internet. The boyfriend of the girl who was being raped lets loose that she was taken to the brothel, causing the Irish hunters to decide it is time to send a message. They move in to rescue the girl and that is when the brothel madam finds out that one of her girls stepped over the line. It turned out to be an accident, but regardless, the war between vampires and hunters had once again begun.

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It took a while but Shawn finally found the producer and demanded a refund for the lost time he would never have back

The ideas presented in the movie are interesting in an absurd way. At one point, a hunter uses a dollar bill as a talisman-type weapon against a vampire. The idea is, if you believe in something strong enough, it will protect you. It also only matters what you believe, not what anyone else believes. With these ideas and promises, the movie had some potential. However, when you get a great idea that seems to be over-the-head of the filmmakers, you are bound to be disappointed in the final result.

The acting in the movie is really quite atrocious. The director, Mike Watt, plays Sheridan and has one of the most annoying Irish accents I have ever heard. He is just over-the-top in every sense. There were only two decent actors in this entire movie and both were killed early on. Out of all the prostitute vampires, only one or two are even remotely attractive, with Debbie Rochon the hottest of them all. That makes her early demise just as bad as the death of the two decent actors.

There was a great deal of gore but the fight scenes were really poorly shot, showing almost nothing. I know it is a low budget movie, but you need to see something more than just blood and the gore that is the aftermath of the fight. The movie promised violence, eroticism and throat ripping bloodlust and failed on every count. Even at the end, when the final battle occurs, it is uninspiring and makes the entire movie appear to be a complete waste of time. Sure, there are a couple of inventive kills for the hunters but it is not enough to save this movie.

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If your movie sucks, don’t put a great short on the DVD. It makes your movie look that much worse.

The Package

The look of the picture is dull and uninspiring. The sound is pretty bad as well, poorly edited and just bland. The cover of the DVD makes it look like a strange gothic porn and the interior of the packaging has still photos and posters for other movies.

There is a commentary track with the director and producer. There is also a making-of documentary that is actually more interesting than the movie. One thing I learned right off is that the annoying accent of Sheridan’s is not the actor’s (and director’s) real accent, making it even more unforgivable. The cast and crew seemed really excited about the making of this movie, causing the final result to be even more disappointing.

There s also a short film called A Feast of Souls. It won the audience award at the 2006 Chicago Horror Film Festival and Best Short Horror and Best Actress at the Shockerfest Film Festival as well. The acting in this one short is miles above the performances in A Feast of Flesh. The effects are also amazing in this film. It really makes you realize that even if you don’t have a big budget, you can still achieve something great if you have enough talent. The short is a loosely based Southern re-telling of Dante’s Inferno. If I rated this short film on its own merits, I would give it 8.0 out of 10.

There is a gag reel that is just the cast and crew messing around. There are also trailers to some REALLY bad looking movies. In my rating I am giving the movie a 1.2 but I am raising the rating based on A Feast of Souls inclusion on the DVD.

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The only reason to watch the DVD. Or hell, just buy it on it’s own DVD, which is also available.

2.0 out of 10