From the official Star Trek casting breakdown we ran back in August:
[LEONARD(BONES)MCCOY] – 28-32 Medic on the Enterprise. Smart, clever and a bit danger-loving. Dark hair, blue eyes.
And, now, Karl Urban’s vitals:
Eyes: Definitely not blue.
Danger Threshold: Low
Favorite Monkee: Peter Tork
This is very near to an outrage, J.J. Abrams. And to think, you could’ve had Ulfie.
On the plus side, straight women and gay men will be furiously masturbating to the character of Bones never again! I kid. Urban isn’t terribly deficient in the looks department; true, he lacks the wood-inducing liver spots of Mr. DeForest Kelley, but those will come with age. And judging from the unanimous support for Abrams’s Star Trek reboot we’ve seen on the CHUD message boards (led by the King of Upbeat, Devin Faraci), there’s every reason to believe that we’ll get to watch Urban’s visage pock and brown as the years wear on. My mouth cascades with drool just thinking about it.
And with that, we’ve got our crew of the Enterprise. Now we can get back to speculating over the eventual title of Cloverfield (the latest rumor: Still Can’t Stop the Music).