Please send letters. Writes:

I have to say, while doing my morning look-see around the
web needling for nuggets of news, I wouldn’t have imagined in a hundred years
to read what you wrote for the opening paragraph for your "Twilight Zone: The Movie" review… not from you! Granted, the
movie isn’t the strongest film of its kind and a poor tribute to the Rod
Serling, but you effectively stepped very harshly on an entire genre. You do
realize your site is still called, right? Seriously, though, it sounds
like you’re going through that Spielberg age when he stopped making films like
"Duel" and started focusing on "E.T." and family features
his kids could watch.

Having said all this, I’m about to leave for a horror
convention in Orlando, and I’m seriously considering running your statements
through the meat grinder. I’m letting you know this up front because I’ve
always enjoyed your opinions and CHUD’s coverage as a benchmark for myself (and
I know I’m not alone in that opinion). Would you have any problem at all with
me quoting you and CHUD directly for this statement (the whole first paragraph,
actually) and see what response shakes loose?

Keep on Chewin’.

Nick Replies: Kevin’s referring to this passage from the Twilight Zone: The Movie review:

"Horror films are the ultimate con, films which play to
our fears, make us panic and feel alone and susceptible and then remind
us at the end that we’re just lucky spectators. Not much escapism in
horror flicks. The audience is almost paying for the opportunity not to
be involved in the scary business.

I wasn’t stepping on a genre. I was talking about how horror films are a unique animal. We don’t see horror films for the joy of adventure, to be a part of amazing adventures or deep romances. I consider escapism primarily about being a part of something larger than life or beyond our possibilities where we’d never have the chance to participate in on our own. I think horror movies satisfy a different but no less important need. We like to have the rush of being scared, but we’re not escaping to a place we want to be. We’re in a place we’d never want to be, and I think that’s less of an escape than it is a chance to fire our neurons in a way that is fun and dangerous. The definition of Escapism on Wikipedia is as follows:

"Escapism is mental diversion by means of entertainment or recreation, as an "escape" from the perceived unpleasant aspects of daily stress. It can also be used as a term to define the actions people take to try to help relieve feelings of depression or general sadness."

Horror movies are stressful AND an escape, but I think they rech someplace more primal than a place built on simple entertainment. Someplace in the reptile portion of the brain, a part embedded deeper where we remember we’re animals and need to satisfy the need to hunt, the need to kill, and the unbeatable feeling of our own mortality.

Andrew Writes:

I am not kidding, I will send you an email every time you
do a Pants Bulge. It is probably my favorite thing ever written in the history
of the written word. I know I fellated you the last couple installments, but
here I cum again.

Seriously though – not to get into idol worship, because
I am not trying to kiss your ass, but the very specific Nunziata style of humor
is why I chose Chud as my onlone home all those years ago. The mixture of puns,
lurid sex, Manitou/Accused/Glaive-drops, and "fucks" is THE reason
why this site is successful to me (along with Devin’s "serious"
work), and I think it’s (your funny-bone and randomness) the reason the
Podcasts are listenable, withe the exception of that horrible one with
Cunningham and the other non-entertaining men. Speaking of, where’s my podcast?
I know they are a headache, nevermind.

This is positive feedback for the Pants Bulge. I shall
try some Mustard Based BBQ sauce, I’d never heard of it before.

Keep up the good work and do more lists (like a Star Trek

Nick Replies: [Article he’s referring to] Hey, I LIKED that Podcast! Don’t be hating on Carl!

I really appreciate the note. I’m almost blushing. You keep reading and I’ll keep writing. The Pants Bulge thing seems to be getting a good response and I have been able to get one up every Friday for six straight weeks and Fridays are typically slow days on the site both content-wise and traffic-wise. Folks who are dawdling around during the week are cutting out for the weekend and so are some of the staff (YOU ASSHOLES!). I really dig hearing that folks are enjoying it, because typically, by the time the following Monday rolls around there’s so much new content that the ‘Bulge’ is buried. As for your requests, we recorded a new podcast this past Saturday and I’m editing it. It’s 3 hours of meandering material that needs to be honed down to 1, and my goal is to have it done by Friday. As for the next CHUD List, we’re starting it this coming Monday. We’ve been tossing back about 5 different ones and have some good stuff coming. So be ready next Monday for this lovely list of 50, provided by myself, Devin, Jeremy, Russ, and Alex Riviello:

Benjamin Writes:

you need to know the story of the Autobots and the Decepticons, well you must
be attractive and in good shape…"

Wow. Now THERE’S a slam that came out of nowhere.

Where did the TF-geek hate come from, Nick?

Nick Replies: [Article he’s referring to] It was a jab half made in jest and half made because I think the TransFan complaints about the film’s changes are ludicrous. It’s the Transformers! It’s not some sacred property which requires nuance and grace to realize onscreen. The great thing about the franchise is how flexible it is. It’s not the best written cartoon of the past few decades is it? It’s oftentimes lame, kept afloat by the fun and cool concept. Mostly, I thought it was a funny line for the review. You know we sometimes tell jokes at…

Jeff Writes:

your story on Land of the Lost. What makes this humorous is that Ferrell’s
character in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back was named Federal Marshall
Willenholly. Marshall, Will and Holly were the three main characters in
the tv show, Land of the Lost. This sounds fishy, like fanboy bs…just
thought I’d share.

Nick Replies: [Article he’s referring to] I wish it was just an elaborate joke, but it isn’t. By the way… NERD ALERT*!

M Writes:

Quick question for ya…
Trying to track down a movie that dropped off the radar some time
ago. But it won’t be entirely easy as I
only have limited recall and info on it!
Doh! Mainly I seem to remember it
boasting that all or most of it’s lines were quotes from other movies. Indeed, there was a joke of sorts about them
being sued for it. And I believe it even
had a poster of sorts that strongly resembled the one of "The Breakfast
Club". Heard updates here and there
and then (as far as I know) it disappeared.
And yes, this was probably a couple years ago now. Do you know which movie I’m talking

ps. On a side
note, I might add that I quite enjoy your website. I completely understand the need for ads,
mostly tolerate them, and scoff at the people who constantly whine about
them. But I’ll have to concur about that
ridiculous ‘Flight of the Living Dead’ pop-up that is pushing even my
patience. Namely that it’s so poorly
positioned. And to add insult to injury,
it can’t be closed for 20 seconds (which is an eternity when you are just try
to click through to read an article).
Sheesh. The upper left corner
where the newest stories are? Evil. I know one of the main purposes of
advertising is to be seen (and/or unavoidable?) but c’mon..

Nick Replies: I don’t know the movie you refer to, if only it were one of the many movies that seem familiar because they rip off other movies and pretend they’re original…

As for the ads, I don’t make them. It’s up to the discretion of the companies creating, selling, and using them to promote their product. If they consulted with me, I’d help them come up with cool, less annoying ads. As it stands I got bills and staff to pay and I’m just doing what I can do to make the site worth it for you.

Nick M Writes:

Great site, as usual. I’m really
enjoying the writing recently. Most recent standouts include Dellamorte Does
Box Office and Jeremy Smith’s "history of film" articles (can’t
remember the actual series title). Negatives… none really.

Anyway… to the main reason I’ve
written: I hate ads, and I’ve blocked them all. But don’t hate me yet… I’m
happy to pay for my info/entertainment, and I’ve just donated $50 via
paypal. Future payments to come. I’m hoping that this isn’t a big no-no.
I’m sure you probably don’t want to start pricing subscriptions, or suggesting
in any kind of public way what you think the site is worth on a monthly or
yearly basis (I can imagine the flame wars that would erupt), but if you have a
figure, I’m happy to pay it and keep shtum. If not, left to my own devices, I’m
likely to pay more via donations than you’d probably charge anyway.

So that’s about it – it you have any
comments, I’d be glad to hear them.

Either way – keep up the good work.

Nick Replies: [Article he’s referring to] If you had a lot of like-minded people who were dedicated as you are, we’d be onto something! Much appreciated, but for the forseeable future I really have no choice. Maybe I’ll win the lottery or something and have more options.

Tim Writes:

my name’s tim. just read the bulge column.

> buffy?

effing call.

the ending. happy girl power? or dark we’ll never stop fighting even if the
apocalypse comes?

or fred?

or that one guy with the messed up skin?

or giles? okay, that’s kinda a tie.

just wins on all counts.

never written you an email before, so this is a weird first one.

a good day.

the man, nick.

da man.

Nick Replies: [Article she’s referring to] I read this email in the style of a guy with a nervous tic, eyes darting all over, delivering the sentences like Rainman. Which is awesome.

BusTard Writes:

Yours is a great
site, and it was through a blog that I was introduced to it. The bit about the
MTA here is spot-on.

The Red Line, despite the reëmergent plans to see it through the left coast’s
west side, is no #2. And it does not rocket through the stops, like the A in
uptown or the L once out of the city. And the buses, as you well know, are a
fucking travesty. That is why we started
as well as its unbridled, red-headed little bastard step-child,

I invite you to read the aforementioned sites. After next week’s spate of MTA
public meetings, the attitude is going to get downright nasty with what we know
is going to be a series of bullshit, hypocrisies and lies about how the MTA
will promise to improve services.

Nick Replies: [Article he’s referring to] Devin, you are not alone!

* Podcast Joke