The Brotherhood of Ron is one of the many subsets that have popped up on the wonderful CHUD forums. It’s almost an in-joke for all those that follow fellow blogger Ron Panarotti’s entries and adore them for their simplicity.

I don’t come here to shit in Panarotti’s cereal. I come here to praise the man for giving a voice to those that rarely get to see their thoughts expressed outside of Man on the Street television spots.

I’ve been following his recent Bond review entries with a sense of fervor that I haven’t felt at CHUD in some time. When Panarotti tackles a subject, he doesn’t tackle it as so much as he gums it. What is this critical gumming of which I speak?


Excerpt

Bond in retrospect: Goldfinger (1964)

To gush about how “Goldfinger” is the greatest Bond film ever (which it
isn’t) and how it set the formula and standard for subsequent Bond
films has been done to death. So, I want to specifically focus here on
things that are wrong with the movie.

Don’t misinterpret this as
me saying I hate the film. I don’t. But I think it is just a tad
overrated and cliched now, and that people often make it their #1 Bond
film almost out of a sense of obligation or even guilt, as if it is
being disloyal to pick a favorite Bond other than Sean Connery.

End of Excerpt


Let’s take a look at how Panarotti started this critical breakdown of Guy Hamilton’s Goldfinger. He opens up his review with a quick personal assertion rather than a basic introduction of the material presented hereforth. What Mr. Panarotti is asking the readership to do is to accept that he knows more about the film than they.

It’s a bold statement, but the self-noted Associated Content contributor feels comfortable with this assumption. He then leads into how Goldfinger ruined one of United Artists’ biggest franchises and how it somehow started the creative decline that led to a film like Die Another Day.

Then, it gets tricky. He states that he wants to focus on what he doesn’t like about the movie, then he wants to win you over to his opinion. Panarotti seems to be confused over whether or not he needs the reader’s approval of his opinion. It’s not unusual. Hell, you see more and more writers backing down from the vulgar distaste of the masses.

Excerpt

Anyway, one of my big complaints about the film is that Bond really
comes off looking rather incompetent throughout the proceedings. Most
of the second act has him sitting locked up in Goldfinger’s captivity.
He largely reacts to things happening to him, rather than being a force
for taking action and making things happen. Some of the breaks he gets
come to him almost by luck.

End of Excerpt

If the Amazon User Review level dissertation wasn’t enough, he slides back into lackluster complaints against the Pulp UK/US Spy genre constraints. The rest of this eventually turns into a plot summation with no real insight gleamed from his experience with the film.

This is wonderful.

It’s wonderful, because it shows something about the Internet at its purest. Anybody can write anything about anything and get away with it. There’s no bars keeping your opinion from being heard. Hell, I’m tempted to take a tape recorder and get some movie review blogs from the crazy hippie that lives on my street.

I’m sure that there’s more entertainment in Old Hippie Fuck’s take on Get Smart than there is in some pseudo-celeb take on the same film. I created this blog with the intent of celebrating people like Ron Panarotti and his ilk that I find online.

I want you as a reader to be overwhelmed by the sheer amount of tap water opinions and critcism in the open world. After being exposed to enough of this lame shit, I hope that you will all find that pit of bile in your stomach and truly create works of passion and fury that can inspire people to do more than to write blogs about shit they remembered about Octopussy.

If that’s too much, then you could always try to outdo Young Master Patrick Ripoll.