from the Spielberg summit at Universal, the big nerd news of yesterday was Eric Bana getting cast as the villain in J.J. Abrams’ Star Trek. This would all be much more interesting if Abrams had leaked the surely brilliant screenplay by Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman; then, we’d know if Bana’s character, Nero, will allow the Aussie actor to pull a Chopper. I’m hoping this is the case because most American audiences have no idea that Bana has that psychotic gear. I’d love to see him go balls-out bonkers again.

But first we need to figure out who Nero is: maybe he’s a Romulan; maybe he’s a Klingon; and maybe, if we’re really fucking lucky, he’s a Gorn. God, that would be glorious. But we’re getting way ahead of ourselves; without a decent Kirk, this newfangled Star Trek will be, to quote the legendary French Resistance leader Dr. Paul Flammond, "worth less than a truckload of dead rats in a tampon factory." It sounds like Abrams is still determined to go with a lesser known actor, but that could all be subterfuge.

Star Trek is scheduled to commence principal photography this November, so we’ll have our Kirk soon enough. In the meantime, feel free to speculate over the significance of the Nero moniker (maybe Abrams is just a big Django fan).