was a furious little prick bastard whenever they’d choose a different show than Land of the Lost on the Sid & Marty Krofft slot on television back in the 70’s. Fuck Sigmund the Sea Monster. He stunk like Tralala’s drawers after she took the last exit to Brooklyn. The Land of the Lost was the stuff of legend.

Until I grew up and realized Land of the Lost was worse than being kicked in the solar plexus by Jesus.

So bad. The show is so bad that it hurts me physically when I think of it. Writing this article is like falling up the Exorcist stairs. On fire.

Because Hollywood sucks ass right now, greenlighting the dumbest shit ever in order to make the strike a profitable one (audiences be damned), OF COURSE THERE’S A LAND OF THE LOST MOVIE COMING OUT! How could it not? We have the ass horrible Thundercats (if you still like that you should be ashamed of yourself) coming, countless other sanity dodging ideas on the horizon and each day seems to bring another act of film terrorism, Land of the Lost is inevitable. Like death, taxes, and Dunst at the dentist.

How can anyone still have religion in a time like this? What more evidence do you need? The Happening?

Universal Pictures is kicking all sorts of ass right now, making some really terrific films. Now comes a 100 million dollar "Event Comedy" starring Will Ferrell and directed by Brad Silberling based on a kitschy television show people like for the wrong reasons. The idea of the show is pretty solid, especially if you’ve read some Verne or Burroughs (or unrelated but great… Bunnicula) but it’s so much easier to go the Night at the Museum route than to actually deliver something fresh and rewarding to the moviegoing and dvd buying public.

Event comedy. Like Evan Almighty? Like Evolution? Like Manderlay? aside, I’m hoping they do some sort of Sleestak variant of the Hershey’s Kisses when this comes out. That’s a cooperative crossover deal I can get behind.

I’m not bitter, I promise. I’m just seasoned, hardened, saddened, and punch-drunk by the spate of bad ideas coming at my head and fingers.