knew that queer-ass Sweep the Leg, Johnny video was going to have some sort of effect on the world at large, like a YouTube-spawned version of Grant Morrison’s theories of pop magick. Sure enough, there’s word that a remake of The Karate Kid is in the works, and since they’ve already done the story with a weenie kid and a butchy girl, they’re taking the franchise to a new frontier: negroes.

Which, if you ask me, is bringing it all full circle. It was the primarily black audiences of the grindhouses on 42nd Street in the 60s and 70s who really ushered martial arts into America, keeping Shaolin monks and kung fu fighting drunks in the popular consciousness after the Bruce Lee fad had burned out. God knows I bought all of my ninja stars from black dudes back in the day.

The new Karate Kid may also be skewing younger than the last two iterations, since it might star none other than Jaden Smith, the son of Will Smith, who IGN has learned may be producing this remake. Jaden’s clocking in at 9 these days, and how adorable do you think he’s going to look in that little karate outfit? So adorable! He has a face even Xenu could love.