Just give me a second.

I don’t know about you, but if the studios suddenly scrapped all of their pre-strike plans and decided to make nothing but chick lit adaptations from now until June, I would probably throw out my back trying to gnaw on my own testicles. To be fair, this isn’t necessarily related to some kind of extreme distaste for the literary subgenre; I used to do the same thing every spring when the circus came to town. Doctor said I’d grow out of it. Doctor lied.

In any event, the studios have been snapping up a lot of chick lit properties lately (even though The Nanny Diaries tanked like James Garner and C. Thomas Howell) – which is probably a mistake, but it’s at least preferable to contracting piles. Touchstone Pictures is the latest to follow suit with Confessions of a Shopaholic, which is based on the more sophisticated sounding The Secret Dreamworld of a Shopaholic by Sophie Kinsella. According to The Hollywood Reporter, it’s about "a compulsive shopper in Manhattan up to her neck in debt who ironically becomes a financial advice columnist." Hello, testicles.

The lovely and talented Isla Fisher will star in this Jerry Bruckheimer-produced nonsense, while the just plain talented P.J. Hogan is being paroled from director jail to helm the film (never mind that Revolution completely fucked Hogan’s very enjoyable Peter Pan). Principal photography begins in January.