hated The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe worse than thugs who punch my grandmother in the stomach so it’s unlikely I’ll see the follow-up or the seemingly endless religious fantasy films from the series planned to attack us every year until mankind goes sterile. Some of you liked it, taste be damned, so I’m glad to tell you that the teaser poster for the second film is here for your approval and my disdain.

The Chronicles of Narnia saga continues with Prince Caspian, a film which will be remembered for all time as it brings two Hollywood legends together for the first time.

Liam Neeson. Peter Dinklage.

You’re welcome, Earth.

Granted, Dinklage will be onscreen in the flesh [alongside annoying man-child Warwick Davis, an actor who is the polar opposite of the talent first, gimmick second Dinklage] while Neeson’s soothing dulcet voice will only serve as Jesu… I mean Aslan the Lion’s vocal avatar. Still, that almost makes it something to look for.

Instead look for elfin wide-eyed kids [inlcuding the cute Garafalo-alike Anna Popplewell], multiple CGI beasts and creatures at war, and dozens of post-LOTR vistas on your way to harmless but uninspired light entertainment.

That’s all I got. Click the poster to see it bigger if you hate life.