STUDIO: Twentieth Century Fox Home Video
MSRP: $27.98 RATED: PG-13
RUNNING TIME: 85 Minutes
• Commentary by Director Paul Abascal
• Deleted Scenes w/ optional commentary
• "Making-of" featurette
This is what the PORN link on the CHUD billboard is supposed to point to…
**SPOILERS TO FOLLOW**
Wendell Stokes Paparazzi Journal – 25 May – 8:00 PM PST
Sighted new action star Bo Laramie at premiere of Adrenaline Force. Subject arrives via limo with family, wife Abby, son Zack. Saw film at early screening. How they can have a premiere for this piece of shit is beyond me, but they pay me the big bucks for covering this crap, so here I am. Laramie looks uncomfortable, tries to pretend he’s ready for the big time…but I know better. Jerkoff comes out here from Montana, gets lucky in an audition, and here he is. Something’s wrong with the universe when this shitbag can become rich and famous and I have to hide out in bushes for a living…. That Abby’s a piece of ass, though. Wouldn’t mind getting some of that…. End entry.
Rex Harper Paparazzi Journal – 28 May – 2:00 PM PST
Arrived via van at Little League with Wendell, Leonard (Clark) and Kevin (Rosner). Laramie’s playing “soccer dad” and cheering his kid on with the Mrs…. Leonard’s set up with the camcorder and Wendell and Leonard have full rolls of film ready to go. Going to run the ole bait-and-switch routine, hopefully get the mark to make with the fisticuffs. Should be able to take this Laramie prick for a couple o’ hundred grand easy. I’m going to destroy this no-talent pretty boy’s life and eat his soul…and I can’t wait to do it.
Addendum: Laramie fell for it like a third-grader. Fuckin’ retard. Mouth hurts like crazy, but a swollen lip’s a small price to pay for a summer place in South Beach. End entry
"Holy shit, it’s Kirstie Alley naked! Should we get some pictures?"
"Are you f**kin’ kidding? I gotta get a lobotomy just so I’ll forget I ever saw this…"
Kevin Rosner Paparazzi Journal – 7 June – 3:35 PM PST
Looks like my tip paid off. Followed the Golden Goose Laramie to his court-mandated therapist. Paid the receptionist and got his file. Looks like he has anger issues. Definitely looks promising. Goose then went to the set. Hid in a dumpster and saw Vince Vaughn. He’s put on weight since I got those nude snaps of him and that stripper I hired back in ’99. God, just remembered how bad Domestic Disturbance sucked…. End entry.
Rex Harper Paparazzi Journal – 8 June – 11:43 PM PST
Got my usual Mexican friends to bring me Laramie’s garbage. Son-of-a-bitch ate lobster last night. Pretentious asshole. Abby’s on the rag…looks like she switched to maxis. Zach lost a tooth. His old man probably put an IPod under the little shit’s pillow. Hmm, looks like Laramie subscribed to Netflix. Surprised he doesn’t have his butler run down to Blockbuster’s. Surprised he doesn’t have a butler…. End entry.
Leonard Clark Paparazzi Journal – 9 June – 7:09 PM PST
Met the fellas for drinks at some shit dive in Hollywood. Got shot down by some bitch at the bar. Must be a lesbian. Met a lot of those lately…. Then Harper macked on the same bitches. How does that ugly fuck do it? He gets more ass than a toilet seat. Pretty fuckin’ ironic since that’s what landed him in jail on that rape beef. Lucky he had a great lawyer. Goddamn I miss workin’ a jury. I used to hate people like what I’ve become. Think I’ll choke the chicken to that new Jenna Jameson video tonight…. End entry.
Wendell Stokes Paparazzi Journal – 9 June – 10:12 PM PST
Fuckin’ Christ! Followed Laramie in his car with Harper, Clark and Rosner after a party. We boxed him in doing fifty and the cocksucker pulls a fuckin’ Princess Di!! Fuck! What’s worse, Harper’s bitch saw the whole thing!! Harper better work some magic here or we’re all up shit creek without a fuckin’ canoe, let alone a paddle!! Got some A-1 snaps though. Abby’s got some great tits. Too bad she was unconscious, I know she would have liked me touching them. Gonna have to keep those shots for my private stash. Fuckin’-A, this is gonna be worth a fortune…. End entry.
"Mr. Nunziata! Are you okay? Mr. Nunziata!!"
"Hey, what about Oliver over there? He looks hurt!"
"Screw him! Mr. Nunziata, speak to me!!!"
Kevin Rosner Paparazzi Journal – 9 June – 10:12 PM PST
Jesus, Mary and that pussy fuck, Joseph! The Goose pancaked his car during a box-up. Some other poor shit kissed windshield. We’re fucked if Harper can’t pull a rabbit out of his ass…. If I miss Biker Week in Daytona ‘cause that Hollywood pretty boy doesn’t know how to drive, I’m gonna kill him! End entry.
Leonard Clark Paparazzi Journal – 9 June – 10:12 PM PST
Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit!! Box-up turned into a clusterfuck!! Laramie’s car is totaled and some other schmuck is probably dead!! Goddamn if I wouldn’t have loved to get my hands on this case, though! Guaranteed seven-figure settlement! Guaran-fuckin’-teed!! End entry.
Rex Harper Paparazzi Journal – 9 June – 10:12 PM PST
Alright, gotta think for a minute here. Wanted to get Laramie, but not like this. Son-of-a-bitch was lucky he wasn’t killed. Ain’t seen a wreck like that since Kinison… Dumb bitch I picked up saw the whole thing. Checked her purse. Wannabe actress. Better run the Tommy-and-Pamela routine, get her on video doing some nasty shit. That’ll shut her up. Laramie better not die, I ain’t done with his ass yet. End entry
Kevin Rosner Paparazzi Journal – 10 June – 6:36 AM PST
My regular snitch at the hospital got me Laramie’s family’s chart. The kid’s in a coma and the wife lost her spleen. I’d still fuck her, though. Laramie looked like he could chew ten-pennies. Showed a hot little waitress my candy stripe before I left. End entry.
Turns out Heidi Fleiss had recently taken some Jeet Kune Do lessons…
Wendell Stokes Paparazzi Journal – 15 June – 4:22 PM PST
Laramie met with Detective Burton. Ain’t seen Burton since he worked that Winona Ryder thing…. Looks like they got nothing on us. Things are looking up already. End Entry
Kevin Rosner Paparazzi Journal – 21 June – 2:49 PM PST
Can’t believe my stupid luck! Just caught the Goose copping a feel with the local coffee maid. Looked innocent enough, but not the way I shot it! That’s another 20 grand right there, baby! Goose tried to get tough with me. But I stood him down. Guess he doesn’t wanna drop another half-a-mill in a lawsuit. Think I’ll hop on the Harley and follow him.
Addendum: Lost the Goose in the hills. Sucker must’ve been doing eighty…. Wait! HOLY SHIT – (Final entry.)
Rex Harper Paparazzi Journal – 22 June – 2:00 PM PST
Goddamn, Kevin’s dead. Spilled his Harley in the Hollywood Hills. Always told him you gotta be a nut to ride one of those things. My source at LAPD tells me it looks like there may have been someone else up there with them, but they got nothing so far. But even in death, Kevin was one of the best. He got some prime shots of Laramie hugging some waitress. Strange how the last pictures Kevin took were of Laramie and then suddenly he’s dead. Still, gonna get together with the guys and throw down some drinks for you, Kevin – you dumb shit. You’re aces…. End entry.
Leonard Clark Paparazzi Journal – 24 June – 3:43 PM PST
Been tailing Laramie since he saw Kevin’s shot of him and the waitress in the tabloids. Abby looks pissed and Laramie is probably shitting battleships. I’d be happy to make Abby feel better. If I didn’t know better I’d say Laramie had something to do with Kevin eating it. Sick bastard looks like he’s capable of anything. Better be cautious. Going to hit Laramie’s set today for some more shots. Think I’ll take along my button camera for some video. End entry.
Come on, captions like this just write themselves…
Leonard Clark Paparazzi Journal – 24 June – 5:05 PM PST
The set was a bust. Ran into Laramie and his security goon. I think I saw that guy fight Tyson in ’88. Big son-of-a-bitch. Driving to Wendell’s for some online porn.
Addendum: Shit! Cops pulling me over. What now? Cops seem really agitated. Why the hell do they have their guns drawn?! What the fuck is this Glock doing in my coat?! NO WAIT! THIS ISN’T MY GU – (Final entry.)
Rex Harper Paparazzi Journal – 25 June – 8:44 AM PST
What the freakin’ blue hell is going on??!! Leonard just got ventilated by the cops for pulling a gun??!!! Was he out of his goddamned mind?! I can’t believe this. What the hell was he doing with a gun when he got busted and got disbarred for gun possession? I swear I can’t think right now….
Addendum: News just said the “gun” Leonard had was a blank gun used in the movies. Laramie’s behind this. I know he is. First Kevin and now Leonard. Talked with Burton, he’s got no reason to suspect Laramie. I gotta get that sick bastard before I’m next. End entry.
Wendell Stokes Paparazzi Journal – 26 June – 8:06 AM PST
Just met with Rex last night. Laramie’s gunning for us. But we’ll see him coming. Rex whipped out some mini-cams and we’re going to stick them in Laramie’s house. With any luck, I’ll get some footage of Abby naked. End entry.
Wendell Stokes Paparazzi Journal – 26 June – 5:58 PM PST
Oh man, we’re in the shit now!! Abby saw us placing the cameras. Had to take her down. God that felt good to have her on the floor like that…. Told that bitch if she says anything, I’d make sure that kid of hers never wakes up. Laramie almost caught us. Got to really watch out for him now. God it felt good to take Abby down like that. End entry.
Rex Harper Paparazzi Journal – 26 June – 7:27 PM PST
Just had a heart-to-heart with Wendell. That stupid fuck. By attacking Laramie’s wife, he’s guaranteed that he’s going to come after us now. I should just get the hell out of town and let Laramie have him. I’ve got to think us a way out of this…again. End entry.
Wendell Stokes Paparazzi Journal – 26 June – 10:04 PM PST
Just got home. Think I’ll check the feeds from Laramie’s house and see if I can see Abby neaked. GOD…DAMM I liked having her on the floor, timid and helpless. I’m getting hard just thinking about it…. Hey, what the – ! LARAMIE! What’s he doing with my BASEBALL BAT??!!! (Final Entry.)
"Okay, maybe I could come back as an evil twin…no that won’t work because Johns was already evil… What about a clone? Nah… Hey, what if they set the next sequel way in the future and Riddick doesn’t age because he’s like a Furyan Wolverine or something, then I could play my own son…."
Rex Harper Paparazzi Journal – 27 June – 7:47 AM PST
Sweet greasy Jesus!! Found Wendell in his apartment with his head split like a ripe cantaloupe!! Laramie! How’d that fucker get past those cops outside his house? And what the hell was with that report about Chris Rock delivering pizzas? Got to get the hell out of here! I hear sirens! End entry.
Rex Harper Paparazzi Journal – 27 June – 8:32 AM PST
Laramie! That bastard! He set me up! Found a bloody bat on my sofa. Oh shit, the cops are here! I’m gonna get that son-of-a-bitch!! I swear it! Where’s my gun? Gotta go! Now! End entry.
Rex Harper Paparazzi Journal – 27 June – 9:12 AM PST
I’m at that fucker Laramie’s house. Guns loaded. Gonna blow that shit away the second I see him! OOF! UGH! OWW! OOOOF! (Final entry.)
Bo Laramie Personal Journal – 30 June – 9:46 AM PST
I got those fuckers, every one of ‘em. You don’t mess with a man’s family. Period. Rosner, Clark, Stokes…dead. And that colossal asshole, Harper? He’s in the booty house for Wendell’s murder. The fact that he showed up at my house and tried to kill me sealed the deal. Hopefully he’ll end up some large homey’s bitch…. I got those fuckers and more important, I got away with it. Burton looks like he suspects something, but not really strongly enough to cause me any headaches. My son woke up and my wife is fine. Now maybe I can get back to work and even meet my idol, Matthew McConaughey some day. (Only entry.)
David Oliver Paparazzi Journal – 13 Jan – 11:33 PM PST
Saw the preview for this back around June during Van Helsing or something. Looked interesting. Saw the flick and actually kind of enjoyed it. Have liked Cole Hauser’s work and glad to see him headlining something. Sizemore, when he’s not under arrest, is one of the best character actors working today. Have enjoyed his work since Lock Up, and also in The Relic, Saving Private Ryan and others. Farina didn’t have much to do here, but always nice to see him. First time director, Paul Abascal, is a former hairdresser. Cooky. Anyway, film is fairly schlocky, but for some reason it just stuck with me. At 85 minutes, it moves at a nice pace and the villains were nice and sleazy. Cameos from Mel Gibson, Vince Vaughn, Chris Rock, Matthew McConaughey. Produced by Gibson. Wouldn’t suggest buying this, but definitely a good rental. End entry.
6.3 out of 10
With Sizemore coaching him on to glory, Daniel succeeds in breaking the Baldwin family record for sitting through consecutive viewings of Fair Game…
Surprisingly, for a film that was shot for about $7 million, this film looks really good, and the transfer is excellent. First-time director Abascal transitioned from hair to TV directing on such shows as Witchblade, Special Unit 2 and Nash Bridges. He has a pretty straightforward style and I didn’t feel that he tried to let any auteur ambitions he may have had get in the way of the movie. Not an earth-shattering first try, but decent enough. The film is available in wondrous 2:35:1 and also (ugh) fullscreen.
8.8 out of 10
Also not bad. There’s available English, French and Spanish Dolby 5.1. Brian Tyler’s score isn’t very memorable, but it gets the job done, especially in the climax.
7.3 out of 10
Director’s Commentary: Abascal is able to pretty much hold the commentary down by himself. He mixed in enough personal stories with the approach he took and I found it listenable, if not outstanding. He could have definitely used Hauser, Sizemore or both, though to play off of. Sizemore was hired the day before shooting started and I would have liked to have heard his take on playing such a nutbag character, which isn’t far from reality these days (seriously though, Tom, love your work).
Strangely enough, this footage was from inside "Werewolf Girl is the Universe’s" house…
Deleted Scenes: Three quick snips that weren’t missed in the film Abascal does commentary on all.
Stunts of Paparazzi: An eight-minute featurette of the various stunts in the movie, including a stuntman crashing through a window in the movie within the movie, and the big Princess Di-style crash scene in the first act featuring five cars. You get to see Abascal interacting with the stuntmen in setting up the shots and testimonies from the stuntmen themselves. There’s also storyboards.
Inside Look: A super-quick mini on the making of Elektra. Red is suddenly my favorite color again.
5.8 out of 10
Pretty much the most interesting take on the tired floating head concept I’ve seen to date, with the shutterbug POV and all. Encapsulates (my five dollar word for the day) the film quite nicely.
7.0 out of 10