Kevin Sorbo’s world crumbled today as Deadline reported Dwayne Johnson has signed on to play the lead in Brett Ratner’s Hercules. This is going to be Ratner’s first full-length film since he last rewrote the rules of the game with Tower Heist. This will also technically be Ratner’s second comic book film after X-Men: The Last Stand proved Fox hired Brett Ratner to direct X-Men: The Last Stand. ┬áThe movie’s based off a Steve Moore graphic novel. I got in touch with Ratner* and asked him if the graphic novel’s text bubbles were translated into shapes and symbols so he could better understand and he offered the following:

“Too much shrimp.”

This perhaps marks a return to Johnson’s heralded “The Rock Simply Doesn’t Give a Fuck” period of his career that so richly gave us efforts like Race to Witch Mountain, The Tooth Fairy and The Game Plan. Calls to the Academy haven’t been returned but one wonders if the 2014 Oscars won’t simply be canceled due to the awards all being claimed already, as Hercules finally earns Ratner the accolades that have eluded him since Money Talks was egregiously snubbed all those many years ago.

*This may have occurred in a dream I had. Probably.