We’ve all been following the rumors about the Justice League movie with deep interest and excitement, but now everything is really going into overdrive: a trusted scooper has informed us that the roles of Superman and Batman have been cast in the DC Comics heavy hitter movie, and that none other than Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson are taking the roles!
That’s right, Stiller and Wilson are bringing their special brand of chemistry to the world’s greatest superheroes. Ben Stiller will bring his intensity and daily workout routine to the role of Batman, the Dark Knight. Meanwhile, Owen Wilson’s all-American persona and charming smile will shine when he plays the Last Son of Krypton. “It’s perfect casting,” our highly-placed scooper, code-named Alanway Ornhay tells us. “These characters are, in many ways, best friends – but they’re always at odds. Batman thinks that Superman is too nice and sweet and trusting, while Superman wishes the Bat would just loosen up a little bit and smell the roses. This is the exact same dynamic Wilson and Stiller have brought to their many collaborations which have earned hundreds upon hundreds of millions of dollars.”
But wait, there’s more! Our trusted scooper also tells us that the reason why everyone thinks the Green Lantern in Justice League is John Stuart is because they’ve heard it’s a “Black Green Lantern.” But it turns out that it’s a JACK BLACK GREEN LANTERN. Yes, the old rumor about Jables playing the Emerald Warrior is true, and it’s going to be in this film. With Ryan Reynolds as the Flash and rumored Rachel McAdams as Wonder Woman, it looks like what our scooper tells us, that the script has the tone and feel of Keith Giffen’s Justice League International run (click here to see more on that) is true!
Remember where you read it first, friends. And remember that this is just as likely to be true as every other half-baked rumor that every other website spits out in an attempt to be the first with the news, even if it means they feed you a big, smelly bullshit sandwich.
But hey, if you don’t like this rumor, I could always make another one up. How about Battlestar Galactica’s Jamie Bamber (Apollo) as Superman? Will that get me hits? Wait, let’s try this one: Gerard Butler will once again be showing his rippled abs when he dons the tight orange Aquaman shirt! Hold up, I can think of another one, just click here again…