a straight man who experienced puberty while Ronald Reagan was still president, the name Zac Efron fills me with a profound sense of ‘Who the fuck is that?’

Wikipedia tells me that Zac is in no way related to Nora (the spellings of the last names are different, but who knows how these Hollywood types do things), and the cover of the new issue of Rolling Stone tells me that I want to smash his overly tanned face in with a tire iron. Beyond that, it turns out he’s the star of that High School the Musical thing which proves that even in a society as advanced and with as many options as our own, young people will unerringly seek out the worst possible thing and make it huge. Apparently Efron also appears in Hairspray, but fuck that movie.

Anyway, the kid’s so hot right now, which means that every couple of days when I’m trolling for news his name comes up. Usually I ignore it, especially since I had no clue who he was until this morning, but today’s news bit is actually reportable. It turns out that Efron is being considered for a role in a movie about Orson Welles, another young man who once became incredibly famous – but managed to keep his shirt on.

The film is called Me and Orson Welles, and it’s about a 17 year old actor who gets his big break when Welles casts him in a small role in his Broadway production of Julius Caesar back in the 30s. Now, I haven’t read Simon Callow’s massive, multi-part biography of Welles, but when you cast Zac Efron as a 17 year old cozying up to a famous person… don’t you sort of get a Gods and Monsters vibe? Did Welles swing that way? (Not that there’s anything wrong with that)