Everything You’ve Always Wanted to Know About Sex *But Were Afraid to Ask, Innerspace and the "Parasites Lost" episode of Futurama, can a straight-faced remake of Fantastic Voyage work for the average moviegoer? What’s that? The average moviegoer is aware of neither the original nor its parodies? Well, then, let’s shrink up some C-list actors, inject them into a B-list actor, and get everyone some pre-strike moolah!

I’m sure you’re wondering, Dear CHUD Reader, why you should be excited about Roland Emmerich teaming with The Wibberleys on a redo of a movie that was considered kitschy when it first hit theaters. And I sure hope you’re not looking to me for answers. There’s no reason for a Fantastic Voyage remake aside from the fact that a) the title must move the marketing research needle, and b) the film hasn’t been officially "reimagined" by the studio sitting on the copyright. The Richard Fleischer original has its strong points (e.g. the production design, Leonard Rosenman’s score and Raquel Welch), but it is definitely a product of its era.

This version of the story will have a scientist miniaturizing his egghead buddies so that they might tend to a potentially fatal blood clot. I can’t wait for the Emmerich/Wibberley rationalization for a premise that has only grown more preposterous over the years. And does anyone want to place bets on David Duchovny playing the scientist?

Further to the Writing Partners story from yesterday, The Wibberleys are not eligible for gross points on Fantastic Voyage because it is not an original. And God help us when this husband-wife duo straight from the center of hell finally strikes upon something truly "original".  These motherfuckers are dangerous.