off his Live Free or Die Hard triumph (riding high with an 80% "fresh" rating at Rotten Tomatoes), the incomparable Len Wiseman is ready to receive another critical pass with his remake of Escape from New York, the twenty-six-year-old relic that’s been rendered unwatchable due to its plentiful matte paintings and an unforgivable absence of people jumping onto the wings of airborne aircraft. Timeline‘s Gerard Butler has already been cast as Snake Plissken, the ex-soldier plunged into a walled-off New York City to extract the marooned President of the United States. MGM is said to be burning every existing print of John Carpenter’s original in anticipation of the greatest movie ever made.

For anyone who loves film, this should come as a relief. Wiseman is up there with the greats: guys like Arthur Hiller, Steve Miner, Greydon Clark and Pen Densham. He’s so phenomenal at choreographing action, they should start referring to "action" as "Len Wiseman". In fact, I will not be satisfied until Len Wiseman has remade all of the so-called "action" "Len Wiseman classics" with His trademark flourishes of noticeable wire work and horribly integrated CG. The critics and the public have spoken! They want more Len Wiseman, and they want it/Him now! Imagine how spectacular The French Connection would be with werewolves and vampires draped all over Popeye Doyle’s commandeered auto.

New Line will be unleashing the new-and-improved Escape from New York on moviegoers at some point in 2008. Neal H. Moritz, whose filmography reads like your list of favorite movies ever made, will produce. The script by Ken Nolan has been bouncing around as an open writing assignment for months now, but I’ve yet to hear of another scribe coming aboard. By the way, I’ve read Nolan’s screenplay, and… it’s positively Len Wiseman-packed?