A Nice Hard Slap – Damn These Amazing Hands and Balls of Mine!

Damn These Amazing Hands and Balls of Mine!

Why is it that the only peripheral that is my favorite in the entire universe was discontinued by Microsoft a few years ago and now selling for upwards of $150 – $200? Of all the mice, trackballs, tablets, and touchscreen nonsense out there, all I need is the Microsoft Optical Trackball to get me through my day with ease and reckless abandon and though I keep four of these in the house and cycle them I know that they will someday die and be quite a nuisance to replace.

I’ve tried other trackballs and mice, even a Wacom tablet but nothing is as perfect a match for my particular man-hands as this product. Even though it takes up almost as much space as my laptop. Even though the ball falls out all the time and rolls around my house as if powered by Edgar Allen Poe’s ghost stool. Even though I’m hardcore gay for my Iphone and find the interface delightful. Even though I don’t do any really fancy derring-do on my PC that would require an amazing trackball. I even use this on my Mac, which might get me escorted at gunpoint out of Cupertino should I ever visit.

It’s my baby though and I love it. I love it like the other things I can’t help but be forever bonded to despite logic and the laws of man.

Stale Red Vines. Wild Turkey American Honey. Pizzeria Pretzel Combos. My battered and impossibly floppy Mizuno glove. Stuff that most people find odd. Everyone that uses my trackball looks at it like an alien artifact.

MAYBE IT IS. More reason to lust.

I went online to see what the going rate for these beauties was and though some auctions listed it for $50 it was obvious that by the end of the stint they’d be too cost prohibitive to make any sense.

Fucking dumb. So what I’m saying is, if you have one send it to me.

– Nick Nunziata’s hands are contorted perfectly, thank you.

Before
I go, here’s the latest thing I’m adding to the blog. Each day I blog I’ll
have a song, a piece of artwork, a photo, a Mary Worth, or something to
further justify your click and to give the trolls a little more ammo.
Today, a new Killing Swarm song, BALLS OF LOVE, from the next CD.