’m all for cute, conflated credits that brand particular aesthetics like "The Coen Brothers" or "ZAZ", but what in the hell have the horrendously untalented Cormac and Marianne Wibberley done to deserve the official, WGA-approved appellation, "The Wibberleys"? Unless it’s intended as a Mr. Yuck warning to more attentive filmgoers, this is nothing more than a vanity credit for a married couple with serious power dynamic issues. Hey, Cormac! You’re a man! You can beat her up! Dispute settled!

And then there’s the new trailer for National Treasure: Book of Shadows Secrets to ponder. Let’s start with the Jon Voight-uttered opening line: "What is it about treasure that makes history so fascinating?" I don’t know. What is it about Red Buttons that makes Dinty Moore Beef Stew so delicious?

That whole five-day cooling off period… they revoked that, right? Just checking.

So the plot of Book of Secrets hinges on a titular tome that contains "a collection of documents for Presidents’ eyes only", which includes the truth about JFK’s assassination, the missing minutes from the Watergate tapes and "of course, Area 51". This means Democrats and Republicans have passed through the Oval Office and opted to not spill on crucial information that might’ve tilted the balance of power forever in their party’s favor. And all of this will somehow help Cage clear his great-great grandfather of allegedly organizing the plot to kill Abraham Lincoln. That’s right: in this cynically manufactured piece of studio product, this time, it’s… not so impersonal?

This trailer is littered with howlers (there’s a classic, detached-jaw Cage screengrab at .18), so I implore you to download it posthaste. If National Treasure: Book of Secrets isn’t ultimately one of 2007’s worst, we’re a rough five-month ride ahead of us.

*They were but one of many to contribute to the antisocial stew of Bad Boys II.