Been away for quite a bit. Been working overnights into the day shift at 14 hours a day. At five days a week makes James an insane little boy. But I’m using these few minutes I have that I don’t need to either be eating, sleeping, shitting or working to write a random blog about random things that have been going through my head and/or going on in the world.

1) Russia invading Georgia. Wow, is all I can say. Terrible, of course, that this is happening. A big slap to both China (during their Olympics) and to the Middle East (How dare they try to get more oil). I always had my eye on Putin; he always reminded me of a Die Hard villain. But this is real life and let’s hope somehow things are put into perspective and the U.S. (and I mean Bush) doesn’t do or say anything to provoke the matter more. Which looks like it could’ve happened already with the demand of a cease fire. *gulp*

2) Bernie Mac and Isaac Hayes, both dead. Bernie Mac died from complications from pneumonia. In this day and age, who dies from pneumonia? Only 90 year olds, people transported from the 1800’s and Native Americans meeting Europeans die from pneumonia. Here’s to the back of Forrest Whitaker’s neck.

Isaac Hayes died next to his treadmill. It seemed that he said, “Oh my god children, my friend Bernie Mac died out of nowhere. Let’s have a nice run and then a salad. Ack!” And then falls to the floor, rolling up and dying. End scene.

3) Scarlett Johansson is offering up a threesome to a lucky couple who tickles her fancy. But it’s all promotion for the new Woody Allen film Vicky Christina Barcelona and in fact refers to the following: ‘threesome’ refers to the movie going date experience consisting of three people. Which made me laugh that in this day and age with all the freaks out there, you have to legally say it won’t consist of the ‘ol’ in out, in out’. And every time I see a picture of the fine Scarlett, she gets hotter. Which sends me to the year 2001 and seeing Ghost World in theaters and saying, “Wow, Thora Birch is so hot. Who’s this mannish girl who can’t act?” Ahh, how times change your opinions on people. And their body structure.

4) My good friend Tommy has given me more of a reason to love Orson Welles by showing me the fantastic outtakes from the 70’s champagne commercial that popularized him for a new generation. Look up Orson Welles Drunk, and it’ll always be the first 7 videos.

Which had me laughing and then feeling a bit sad for the rotund actor/director. But then it had me looking back at his films and loving them. Especially F For Fake and Mr. Arkadin. Ahhh, to see Unicron on the sauce makes you think; was he always drunk? It’s kind of like the same thing as Jimi Hendrix and realizing while he was playing his music, he was always on some sort of drug. Is that the opening into someone’s untapped potential, which promptly reminds me of the film From Beyond, but for other reasons entirely.

5) Found the website My Damn Channel and have been watching Wainy Days starring the funny David Wain of Wet Hot American Summer, The Ten, The State and Stella fame. Everyone should check it out. It’s awkward and funny, which is always a great combination when it comes to comedy.

Also was watching Cooking With Coolio which answered my previous question of what rock has Coolio been hiding under? It’s not really funny at all, but it’s a train wreck and worth a glance, only to remember he was one of the top rap performers for a few months.

6) Billy Bob Thornton is supposedly Freddy Krueger. I feel hurt, betrayed… but intrigued and quite illuminated as well. Robert Englund will always be Freddy Krueger to me and millions of Nightmare on Elm Street fans. He frightened me at first and then had me laugh by the end and then frightened a bit again in the under- appreciated New Nightmare. Billy Bob Thornton is a fantastic actor and stars in one of my favorite Christmas movies of all time*. One I’ll be showing my kids when they’re born 10 years from now. He suffered anorexia, so he has the gaunt creepy stance going for him. He also feeds the hobos, likes fried potaters and has a fantastic hair piece* that makes William Shatner and Burt Reynolds turn heads. He was also on the terrible John Ritter/ Markie Post sitcom Hearts Afire, which was scary enough. But why remake such a great film in the first place? Hollywood decided a little while ago to stop trying so hard, to put out stuff people recognize right away and why not? They’re in it to make money, so why wouldn’t they use franchises people know and love already? But I’ll still be yearning for a new Nightmare film with Robert Englund, who’s also a class act and a great interview as well. Maybe he’ll play a father figure in the new film. Passing the torch, so to speak.

7) Retards protesting Tropic Thunder. Which surprises me, because I would’ve thought if anyone was to protest the film, it would’ve been the NAACP for Downey’s black face portrayal or people who love fat people against Jack Black’s ‘horrific’ poking fun at fat people in a movie he starred in, ala Eddie Murphy. People need to get a life, get a sense of humor and just see the movie or don’t see the movie. And Devin is right, if I go see the film and there’s a ton of mentally handicapped people (who I also used to work with and help out when I lived in Ohio for a short time), I couldn’t help if I laughed a little. It’s just like when someone falls, someone sneezes or coughs horribly or someone’s yamalka falls off their head. It’s always funny.

I think I’ll end it for now at lucky number 7. Or slevin, as Hollywood would have you believe.

*Bad Santa