, this is the video that spawned those "Paris Hilton befouls Brett Ratner’s Hugh Hefner biopic" rumors? How in the hell did those dots get connected? And why were people upset about that in the first place? It’s Ratner directing something not called Rush Hour; he’s like 0-for-lifetime in that department. Besides, we already got the great Randall Batinkoff in Hefner: Unauthorized. What could possibly be better than that?

As a filmmaker, I think Ratner is a fantastic libertine. I love that he’s sought the counsel of 70s bad boys Robert Evans, Warren Beatty and Roman Polanski (careful!), while striking up the least likely love affair ever with the overwhelmingly athletic Serena Williams. He’s gone above and beyond in his efforts to bring back the art of unabashed licentiousness; many speculate that he plants his own "Page Six" items to further cement his pussy-hounding bona fides. I can get behind that.

Whatever he does to the life of Hugh Hefner… well, one, it’s going to be good and scrubbed, because the screenplay was pre-approved by Hef himself. And, for everyone who expressed concern, you can go ahead and breath a sigh of relief: Ratner has shot down any thought of Paris Hilton in his film. Here he is – in his own, inimitable, excessively exclamatory words – to Variety‘s Anne Thompson:

That’s one of the funniest questions I have ever heard!!! Of course not!!!! That’s the rumors on the internet. Please don’t believe what you read!!! I also heard she was running for president!!!

Not on the horizon for Ratner: gag writing. Most certainly on the menu for this evening? Fucking, fucking, and more fucking – followed by his twenty-third attempt to make it through the first chapter of The Great Gatsby.